Veronica (part 2)

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Veronica
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Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Sat Sep 17, 2022 6:18 am

In sharing an insight I had yesterday ( that the murder trial for my niece was an expression of my SSRs Venus/Mars conjunction as the feelings I had were reflected in that passionate dynamic ......

Jim asked
"What are the feelings? (I could guess but I don't know.) What's the experience of going through that?

This also sounds like your two exactly angular Plutos, including a Venus-Pluto conjunction."
I dont see a Venus-Pluto conjunction in this SSR?


as for my feelings....

They are mixed in a way that makes it difficult to articulate, long, deep, penetrating....parts feel so good and parts feel so horrible....

Jim since I've known you two of my extended family nieces have been horrifically murdered by thier mate. Women who I have know since birth, that I played with and watched grow, that I cared for and loved, watched them birth thier own children ......gone,... in horrible violent cruel acts.
I feel ....that it could have easily been me, that my relationships were so toxic that they could have ended the same. .... That my chart has an potential for huge toxicity in relationship to others...because it is so limited.
I feel like if I didnt get away from my exs, that if I dont stay away ....I might act horribly myself because I am angry at how things progressed.

and thinking that, feeling that....makes me sick. how sickening to think that I could feel so selfishly angry, hurt, fearful....that I could be triggered to commit ugliness myself. Sometimes I want to scream at my ex "You did WHAT, with Who?!? How could you?!?" and just smash everything.

and it's that "How could you"....that brought me to you to try an understand how they did what they did. of course though, when your all jacked up on anger feelings your blood isnt in your ears and you cant hear till you calm down, and then you can try to understand the How.

Something Venus Daily said the other day in her thread bothered me, but I didnt want to derail her thread or upset her so I didnt respond to it. What she said though, seems to fit into these feelings I am trying to find words for, what I feel is very very wrong in the world.

She said "screw men."

As I think of my little orphans and thier situation, of my surviving nieces grieving for thier beloved cousin, of all the stories I hear and see about domestic violence surrounding me.......I want to scream at her and shake her and say, "No, no no!!!!DoNot screw men, they dont like to be screwed with!!!! They dont want to get screwed in any way shape or form!!! They dont take it well, they dont like to be played with, they dont like to be laughed at and they will have very hard feelings towards anyone they feel has done so!!Men like to screw, but not be screwed with." What is good for the goose ISNOT good for the gander. If you feel like saying "Screw men", then you need to get away from men and leave them alone! Saying "Screw" anything is a hostile hurtful thing and the world doesnt need that sort of nastiness anymore. It's a separation, a division, a mechanical ideal that does not reflect or resemble the inherent truth that we are all interconnected life forms, that each breath and each thought influences the whole entire world we live in.

Yet I didnt say that because I felt for sure I would be told that wasnt what she meant, that she simply meant she was going to leave men alone, that I was out of line and inappropriate and my comments had no bearing because I missed what she meant, even though her language and word choice seems openly hostile towards one part of the human population.

What popped into my mind when I read her words was JSADs teaching about our primal biological response to meeting a person of the opposite sex. Men's primal impulse on meeting a women is to asses if she will be likely to have sex with him. Womens primal impulse revolves around assessing if the man is likely to kill her.
That teaching is profound and really needs to be brought to the surface IMO so that humanity can grow beyond those fearful limitations of our being.
This trial for my niece, the experience of it ...is something I dont like. I dont like hearing about any of it. The shear violence and atrocity....Fingers are pointing, and needs are not being met, and its confusion and unclear and the utter feeling of restriction and helplessness...and for my family who were so so so close to her it has to feel a million times worse.

I feel so sad for the men of this world. They are so sensitive and misunderstood.
This culture does not support them, or nourish them. It uses them and manipulates them and breaks their spirit and rots them.

The men who killed my nieces were in a way, my own nephews, and I feel like a failure that I wasnt able to help them cope and get through life better, that maybe if they had been included more or engaged with more that they wouldnt have blown up.

So much of all that situation was out of my control as they were very extended family who I wasnt strongly or consistently connected to over the years due to me having my own children and time constraints.

I wish I would have understood how sensitive and delicate men really are years ago. I feel horrible about things I've said and done, not knowing truly how hurtful and mean and scary women are, especially to men. I am so very sorry that I have that potential in me, I am sorry for confusions I've caused and mixed messages, being insensitive and selfish and manipulative. I try everyday to be better then I was yesterday and I feel I'm much less toxic.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Jim Eshelman » Sat Sep 17, 2022 8:32 am

Veronica wrote:
Sat Sep 17, 2022 6:18 am
I don't see a Venus-Pluto conjunction in this SSR?

You probably aren't looking at the mundane aspects. When I first posted that, I had cast the SSR for your birthplace; to check it now, I did it for Mendon Center (is that where you were for your SSR?). The return occurred February 18, 2022, 2:44:41 PM EST.

All the aspects you and I are both talking about are there, but some are mundane, some ecliptical. First, here are the foreground planets:

t Mercury on Dsc -7°27'
r Uranus on IC -7°09'
----------------------------
t Pluto on Dsc +0°02'
r Pluto on IC +1°31'

t Venus on Dsc +3°30'
t Mars on Dsc +7°20'
r Venus on Dsc +8°07'

Here is how the planets line up, listing them first (at left) by mundoscope positions (with house notations for convenience, e.g., Pluto is listed at 29°58' of the 6th house [6H], or 0°02' below Descendant), then at right with zodiac positions:

7°27' 7H - t Mercury - 8°53' Cap
7°09' 4H - r Uranus - 18°47' Vir
------------------------------------------ 0°00' - Angles - Asc 1°10' Can, MC 12°58' Pis
29°58' 6H - t Pluto - 2°27' Cap
28°29' 3H - r Pluto - 4°46' Vir
26°30' 6H - t Venus - 23°11' Sag
22°40' 6H - t Mars - 23°29' Sag
21°53' 6H - r Venus - 20°18' Sag

As you can see, in addition to the ecliptical Venus-Mars conjunction (0°18'), Venus conjunct your Venus (2°53'), and your natal Venus-Uranus square, you have transiting Mercury to natal Uranus (0°19'), a 1°29' Pluto-Pluto square, and transiting Venus conjunct transiting Pluto (3°28') and square natal Pluto (1°58'). The Mars transit to natal Venus "close enough" ecliptically (about 3°) but is only 0°48' wide mundanely.

There's a lot going on! A lot passion, churning emotions of all kinds, things that touch your heart powerfully that involve dramatic changes in relationships, deep connection, separation, andmuch, much more.
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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Sat Sep 17, 2022 8:47 am

My SSR was in Mendon, correct. Correct also that I did not see the mundane aspects. Glad nobody mentioned them before and didnt bias or taint my experience of the year with anticipation or expectation, and that its manifestation is organic out of the natural consequences of all my life choices.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Jim Eshelman » Sat Sep 17, 2022 9:02 am

And thanks for sharing all the rest, which I just finished reading. This kind of brutal loss is a terrible thing to have to go through.

Limiting myself to a few points: From your natal, your Aquarius Sun means you are intuitively aware of the connection of all the parts of the world and the people in it. That seems to lay behind the bigger picture you are seeing. And that Aquarius plus your many forms of Jupiter-Neptune mark you as a social idealist, with so much of yourself committed to a better world in so many ways.

But now is a time when your Scorpio Moon takes the lead: The raw rage and objective eye of which it is capable, including the particular rage - both current rage and ancestral, genetic rage - of the abuse of women. You may want to reread the Moon in Scorpio interpretation on this site for whatever it stirs in you.

And then, of course, the current SSR. The two Plutos so closely angular (one of them 0°02'), the drawing out of a natal Venus-Pluto mundane square (that you don't actually have in your natal, but do have in this SSR), along with the raw emotions and diverse passions of the other aspects.
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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Sat Sep 17, 2022 7:13 pm

I really feel that the abuse of women in our world is actually a symptom of the larger issue of the abuse of the masculine. I've expressed that before.

It's such a sensitive thing to talk about but it just seems to me that most all of the violence against women stems from our cultures Archtype of Man himself, the strong unfeeling, savage powerful horny and bloodthirsty.....and I dont see that as true, of most men. Sometimes maybe in certain situations, but as norm men are quiet and caring and keep to themselves and hurting others deeply bothers them. Yet if you frustrate them, poison them or if you push or poke at them, then primal things arise and the worst can happen.

I dont want to hurt or push buttons or frustrate anyone and it's so hard not to when it seems like the whole world is on board with the abuse and limitations of man. I dont know how to act or what to say in fear that it could trigger feelings that I am not capable of dealing positively with, feelings that iwhen flowing n men are so hard for them to say outloud.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Sat Sep 17, 2022 7:38 pm

I have not at all looked at the charts for this crime in any way shape or form. I try to write about her, and her life and it's just........hard.

She was raped repeatedly as a child at knife point, she was later sold into trafficking as a preteen. I loved her very much and I'm so happy she is free now.

The trial of her boyfriend, is in Detroit and it was reported Nov 2021 if any one wants to look. She wouldn't mind.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Sat Sep 17, 2022 8:09 pm

Sitting on my porch I see this absurdly bright light in the sky, It was cloudy and they swept away, to show this freakishly bright light that outshone all the others, made the others dimmer. I at first thought it was a plane or helicopter far away, but it never moved. I watched it till my eyes crossed and I was seeing double. It never moved or dimmed.

I came in and looked at my trusty astronomy program and low and behold it was Jupiter right in the middle of Pieces!! Such a beautiful view, I've never seen it so clearly, it's so bright.

It made me wonder why does Tropical Astrology still exist if I can plainly see it is not in Aries like they say? Hasn't anyone bothered to take them outside and actually just show them?

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Thu Sep 29, 2022 8:49 am

My new Lunar return sets up tomorrow.

I am really struggling with all the circumstances going on around me.....
Orions moving away
My fathers declining life
My job wanting me to take on more responsibilities
My nieces murder trial
Strangers being creepy/stalker like

and so much more that I cant even begin to explain but just simply throw up my hands to the universe with a big WTF is this all about???

I miss my sister and my mom. It's my sisters birthday on the 30th. My niece slipped out and scattered her ashes somewhere with out a word to me, and I was so hurt.

I want to be honest and forthright so I feel the need to say that I dont want to have a phone or internet or social media or anything anymore. I never did, in the 90s I really just wanted someone to talk to about these weird feelings and thoughts and impulses and events that I have that I cant explain. Yet it's gotten to the point where I feel that I am under constant scrutiny and observation, a source of entertainment like a caged tiger who bored people poke and prod because they want to see it react.
and I feel that within me I have this huge capacity to really react, and they know it and are doing everything possible to make me explode and burn the whole world down.

I want to get back to what I was working on in my late teens and early twenties before I had any boyfriend or experience in relationships with males, when I was just growing my plants and writing my poems and not caring one bit about being loved by someone or having someone to love.

I really feel that by the nature of my natal chart that I am something that people see as freakishly interesting and entertaining but wouldnt be seen in public with.

and that's sad because I really am a good person, a kind and loving person, a helpful person and a person who aggressively self corrects negative thoughts and feelings and works to speak and act from a place of love.

Last Thursday on my day off at my job around 1:45pm a man on a phone approached my coworker and told her that my uncle is looking for me, and gave her a number for me to call. My uncle's are dead, and I did not recognize this man in anyway. I'm tired of it. Tired of being afraid and feeling like ever single thing I do or say is being watched. I'm tired of people playing games, and messing around, and crossing lines of inappropriate acts. I dont like it and I dont like how I get caught up in it and perpetuate this craziness myself.

Saturn will conjunct my fathers Saturn soon. I am going to leave my job to take care of him and try to make his final time more pleasant and comfortable. I hate to give up my dream job, but it's only money and money isnt important.

I hope Jim that when you rewrite you Venus you delve into the money wealth fortune aspects and delineations more. They really are never talked about much and are so much more important then the stereotypical venusian love motifs that the ergie encapsulates.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Jim Eshelman » Thu Sep 29, 2022 9:27 am

Veronica wrote:
Thu Sep 29, 2022 8:49 am
I hope Jim that when you rewrite you Venus you delve into the money wealth fortune aspects and delineations more They really are never talked about much and are so much more important then the stereotypical venusian love motifs that the ergie encapsulates.
Veronica, that's not Venus. It's a gigantic Tropical error based on the idea that Venus is the same as the 2nd house. They're not talked about by Siderealists because it's not Venus. (There is a borderline thing of, oh, "having nice things" in the sense of "what causes pleasure," but not wealth / money etc. LOL, is this your Venus in Sagittarius showing?)

Love - or relationship in general - is a big thing but, more pointedly, pleasure. It was easy to notice in the Mars signs that Mars brings a bit of pain and a bit of coarseness to the sign - the placements were a little rougher and unpleasant to other people than the same things in a Sun-sign. I suspect I'm going to see, in contrast, that Venus in a sign brings pleasure to the themes of that sign. We'll see.

I'll look at your new SLR shortly.
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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Jim Eshelman » Thu Sep 29, 2022 9:52 am

Your SLR that sets up before sunrise tomorrow morning is actually a really nice chart! The one closely angular planet in the whole chart is natal Jupiter 1°19' from IC. The only other ones angular at all are your Moon, Sun, and Neptune - so the strongest (and only angular) natal pattern is front and center for the month. (The only foreground aspects are your natal Moon-Sun, Moon-Jupiter, Moon-Neptune, and Jupiter-Neptune.)

You should be feeling quite good about yourself an things during the month.

Additionally, with Jupiter on IC, the themes you identified involving your father and living conditions may even be the real beneficiaries of the chart.

Other close aspects far from the angles likely will add other details. These are mostly unpleasant aspects like Mercury to Mars and Neptune (all three to your Pluto), Saturn to natal Saturn, and others. The important thing to realize is that these don't describe the basic nature of the month. They are "background influences," which seem to mostly be "the stuff that's happening as a backdrop but not the major feeling of your experience."

Code: Select all

Pl Longitude   Lat   Speed    RA    Decl    Azi     Alt     PVL    Ang G
                            Radical Planets                             
Ju 10Sc29'29"  0N56 + 5'47" 243°49' 20S18   3° 8' -67°17'  88°41' 100% I 
Ne  8Sc40'11"  1N40 + 0'30" 242° 3' 19S16   7° 8' -66° 7'  86°51'  97% I 
Mo  7Sc44'20"  5S14 +12°44' 239°36' 25S51  16°26' -72°17'  84°50'  93% I 
Su  5Aq 4'53"  0S 0 + 1° 1' 332°13' 11S25 263°31' - 9°51' 170° 5'  79% Wa
------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Class 1 Aspects      Other Partile Aspects                          
rMo sq rSu  2°39' 86%   tMe sq tMa  0° 7'100% M                         
rMo co rJu  2°45' 85%   tMe op tNe  0°53' 98%                           
rMo co rNe  0°56' 98%   tSa sq tUr  0°38' 99%                           
rJu co rNe  1°49' 94%    ----------------------                         
                        tMe co rPl  0°31' 99% M                         
                        tMa sq rPl  0°38' 99% M                         
                        tSa sq rSa  0°20'100% M                         
                        tUr sq rMe  0°38' 99%                           
                        tNe op rPl  0°57' 98% M
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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Thu Sep 29, 2022 11:51 am

Ok.
I hear you.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Jim Eshelman » Thu Sep 29, 2022 1:00 pm

So the real question, I think, is: Why all the apprehension? It could, of course, be a natural reaction to quitting your job and making such a big commitment to yourself to spend that amount and quality of time with your father.

Astrologically, there are indeed changes occurring. Saturn square your Saturn is a time when our self-defined limits and definitions catch up with us and we need more physical and psychological room to breathe. Uranus on your Mercury-Saturn means stuff is changing, looking different, requiring you to look at it differently.

Your current SSR would stir some apprehension. (The overall pattern of the year.) And Pluto is transiting its Descendant almost to the minute today.
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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Fri Sep 30, 2022 5:40 am

Well, I guess then that if that is the real question.....
"Why all the apprehension...?'

after reading the etymological meaning of apprehension....

apprehend (v.)

late 14c., apprehenden, "grasp with the senses or mind;" early 15c., "grasp, take hold of" physically, from Latin apprehendere "to take hold of, grasp," from ad "to" (see ad-) + prehendere "to seize." This is from prae- "before;" see pre- + -hendere, from PIE root *ghend- "to seize, take."

The metaphoric extension to "seize with the mind" took place in Latin and was the sole sense of cognate Old French aprendre (12c., Modern French appréhender). Often "to hold in opinion but without positive certainty."

We "apprehend" many truths which we do not "comprehend" [Richard Trench, "On the Study of Words," 1856] 

Also compare apprentice). The specific meaning "seize in the name of the law, arrest," is from 1540s. The meaning "be in fear of the future, anticipate with dread" is from c. 1600. Related: Apprehended; apprehending
.

....................

then my answer would be, I'm a human being.

Life is scary and uncertain.
I make mistakes.

I trust you allready comprehended that though.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Tue Oct 04, 2022 8:01 am

I think I just experienced one of the highest points in my life. I felt so good, so happy ...and I even felt a strange physical shift in my body language where my shoulders softened and my arms hung gently at myside.

I had went to look at my son's room, as I do sometimes, as a mother you do out of hygienic necessities mostly but also to try and regenerate that maternal connection and loving bond.....

and there was my lost book!! Neatly on his dresser with a bookmark halfway placed.
I had noticed it was missing a while back and had felt sick about it in all possible ways, not knowing where it had gone and thinking someone came into our home and took it.....

The World's Desire
A novel by Andrew Lang and H. Rider Haggard, one of my most beautiful specimens of bookbinding brilliance paired with legendary language.

To think that my boy looked through my book collection and of all his many and varied choices he chose such a book to spend time with.......sigh.....it brought me to tears.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Jim Eshelman » Tue Oct 04, 2022 8:25 am

Veronica wrote:
Tue Oct 04, 2022 8:01 am
I think I just experienced one of the highest points in my life.
Transits weren't much, and I don't usually take transit trines and sextile seriously, but I can't fail to mention:

7°36' Pis - t Jupiter
7°44' Sco - r Moon

Trines by transit seem not to time moments when something actually happens - not times when we do anything - but times that are merely conditions or states (and often - negatively - where we feel there is nothing we can do). Here was a bit of happy space where you didn't have to do anything and nothing exactly happened.

But don't I recall that we were just discussing an unusually positive, happy new SLR for this "highest point"? I believe natal Jupiter was exactly angular or some such thing. :)
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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:08 am

Jim Eshelman wrote:
Tue Oct 04, 2022 8:25 am
Veronica wrote:
Tue Oct 04, 2022 8:01 am
I think I just experienced one of the highest points in my life.
Transits weren't much, and I don't usually take transit trines and sextile seriously, but I can't fail to mention:

7°36' Pis - t Jupiter
7°44' Sco - r Moon

Trines by transit seem not to time moments when something actually happens - not times when we do anything - but times that are merely conditions or states (and often - negatively - where we feel there is nothing we can do). Here was a bit of happy space where you didn't have to do anything and nothing exactly happened.

But don't I recall that we were just discussing an unusually positive, happy new SLR for this "highest point"? I believe natal Jupiter was exactly angular or some such thing. :)
lol.....yes we were.

an aside...
at my job I am surrounded by the most delicious foods and drinks, most of which I do not partake of because of my Keto diet. I found this one drink, a rose flavored lemonade that I just love love love and indulged in as my reward for a good work week. No one else drank it till I started saying how much I loved it and now as we can predict by the laws of supply and demand, it's very hard for me to get my hands on. sigh.

October has always been my favorite month, and even more so because it's the birth month of my daughter. I've been squirreling away little gifts for her now that I have better finances and it just feels so good to be able to buy her nice things and celebrate what a joy she is. So even with my background worrisome nature and paranoia about things out of my control, you again nailed the truth of the month.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Wed Oct 26, 2022 8:52 am

I have been thinking of cutting my hair recently, or of having it braided and twisted. I woke this morning after a weird dream of coloring each strand a different color.
I dont know what drove me to look at the etymological meaning of my name, but I thought it was interesting that there is a constellation for the root of my name, Bernice and that the mythology was that of a woman cutting her hair. It seems like that constellation is close to where Pluto was when I was born.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Thu Nov 10, 2022 7:41 am

I had a new Lunar return on Oct 27 in which Transiting Neptune seems to have the strongest voice. I went to bed feeling fine, but woke up with an incredible lower back pain on my right side. I had a dream that my insides melted into a pool of liquid that stagnated. I am guessing that this transit expressed itself this way because I over indulged in Carbohydrates/treats/inflammatory foods in celebration of my daughters birthday.
It has been so long since I was in physical pain....bringing back sad memories of my 2 years of wasting chronic pain and all those helpless feelings I had at the time of being in pain for the rest of my life. It was so horrible then, and this pain is pretty horrid too.
I had Hope's that the Demi Lunar that set up for me yesterday would have brought relief, and yes, my back feels a tich better but again, yesterday I woke up with a sordid pain in my right hip that is severely limiting my mobility. I feel that I need to get a new mattress and be more conscious about the position I fall asleep in.
When I was in pain with my neck and shoulders a few years ago I had to condition myself to sleep flat on my back with no pillows, which psychologically was uncomfortable for me and took along time for me to be able to sleep that way as I prefer sleeping in a more curled up fetal position on my side, or on my stomach, which I feel is not good for me as it puts to much pressure on certain body parts for hours at a time.
I am going to try some gentle yoga and breathing techniques later today to see if I cant elongate those inflamed muscle tissues and give them some space so they can cool down. I cant imagine 2 weeks of this hip pain, I can barely walk at times and with all that I do working at the grocery store it was pretty miserable trying to work and gimping about.

I also wanted to mention that in September the man I used to mysteriously run into all the time while hiking around my home, whom I had politely told years ago precovid that I was not interested in, has been coming into the store, which I wasnt very happy about. I came home one day to find the corn I sold him on my front porch. It was very unsettling to find. I have avoided him in the store because I was afraid that I was going to blow up on him and his sexual advances right in the store and make a scene. Tuesday at around 1:20 pm in Henrietta he was in and asked loudly across the counter to me while I was with a customer about the corn, at the front desk during rush hour.
Saturn was on the Asc.
How the unfolding of life goes is such a wonder to me
I apologized to my customers and finished the sale before I acknowledged him.
My heart rate barely changed as I matter of fact told him how unsettlingly, creepy, unwanted, inappropriate and threatening I found his advances.
Then I called the next person in line and got back to work. I felt very happy with myself for being able to clearly use the exact words of my thoughts without muddling them with vulgar emotional adjectives. I was so very clear about my non interest that if he continues it will be harassment and that wouldnt be pleasant.

On another strange note, the car is also in the shop for ball joints (the hip of the car lol) and control arms, which is so similar to my own aches and pains that I am grateful that I have car to share the expression of this transit so that my body didnt get the whole dang break down! The Universe does find a way to bring things about.
I also wanted to say that Jim nailed my end of Sept early October Lunar. It was a most blessed month in so many ways and it makes me look forward to my next lunar with a nice Jupiter hopefully bringing health!

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Jim Eshelman » Thu Nov 10, 2022 8:08 am

These are remarkable descriptions of your recent weeks - especially when you get the full picture of your SLR. Neptune is foreground but isn't the MOST foreground.

Sticking with transiting planets for a moment, the strongest is Mars 4° from Descendant, then Neptune 6° from Nadir. These are joined in a 2°32' Mars-Neptune square, the aspect that fits most everything you mentioned above. (Some of your word choices are remarkable in the face f Mars-Neptune symbolism).

But, even stronger than these, we see four NATAL planets foreground, the closest of which is natal Uranus 0°01' from Midheaven. I'd have to go back and retrace - the Uranus wasn't so obvious in your description - but Uranus PRECISELY angular in Mendon Ctr is square natal Venus ecliptically and natal Mars mundanely. Your Venus is exactly on EP-a, your Mars less than 3° from Ascendant. So your natal Venu-Mars-Uranus triplet is what I would look at most since the lunar set up. - This could have been a LOT more fun if the genera intimidation and burning-hurting effect of transiting Mars-Uranus weren't the main thing coming from the universe. (I suppose the Venus-Uranus etc. was, as one example, the carb indulgence, for which you paid a Mars-Neptune price.)

The Demi-SLR is quite complicate. Again, it is natal planets that have the most to say, especially with Mars 0°13' from MC and Jupiter 0°06 from Zenith. Add nata Sun, and Neptune nearly as close (and a bit of Moon and Mercury). This is very dynamic personally, and usually would show you getting a lot of attention - most of it good, some of it bothersome. But, again, the TRANSITING planets foreground were difficult: Saturn and Neptune.

I suppose if I'd seen this in advance, I'd have said circumstances seem debilitating, difficult, wearying, maybe depressing but you have a lot of enthusiasm for it all, and remain in the driver's seat. Your natal planets look like a celebration.

Finally, your next (Nov 24) SLR: Yes, transiting Jupiter is strongest at 1° off Midheaven, with natal Venus 2° from Descendant. This occurs on Thanksgiving Day and should be a happy, grateful holiday for you indeed. The aspects are generally quite nice.
Jim Eshelman
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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Thu Nov 10, 2022 11:28 am

Jim said
"This could have been a LOT more fun if the genera intimidation and burning-hurting effect of transiting Mars-Uranus weren't the main thing coming from the universe."

well, I had my own fun anyways, against that. I certainly cant do a thing about how transits unfold, they are going to happen, I can only hope to control myself and keep going.

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Unicorn business

Post by Veronica » Mon Nov 14, 2022 7:34 am

I have often wondered why I saw a unicorn.

I have the pictures. I have evidence. I have my charts and notes. It's as documented as could be in my own way.

People don't just go around seeing unicorns. What was going on that made that happen?

I had been sitting on my back porch looking out at great grandfather Oak and there slightly to the left underneath it manifested, shimmering opalescent light that took the form a huge stallion with a horn radiating light and being of all colors and no colors at the same time.
It's simmered and moved in a way that seemed to beckon me to come and join it but I was transfixed not wanting to move for fear of The Apparition leaving.
My heart rate and filled with such love and devotion that I was overwhelmed with tears of joy and mystery and appreciation of all things in this world.

But what had gotten me to this point? what life experiences had I traveled through to reach the point where I was part of some strange electronic magnetic Cosmic unification of the stars and the Earth and my feelings and the world around me? what happened..... what was happening?

Scientifically I have come to understand about an underworld technology in which Mother Nature interacts and controls all of the life forms living on the planet. with this technology Mother Earth regulates all of life causing it to act and react to different climates and circumstances somewhat like a furnace in a home with a negative feedback loop.

When you see a unicorn, afterwards a part of you feels as if you might just very well be insane in some strange way. most people don't see unicorns or at least most people don't talk about ever seeing Unicorns.... you don't see that out in the world today, people talking about seeing mystical beasts is not normal conversation.


How very odd I found it that the day after I had sat down to take these notes reminiscing about my vision of the Unicorn I had a client approach me at work and after talking briefly about nothing as much at all she mentioned that her granddaughter was in love with unicorns, at which point I opened up and told her my story.

I had decided to tell her my story because I found it extremely odd that I had just started correlating my notes and then out of the blue here she was in full unicorn mode . it must be the universe lining up in some way bringing unicornness about not just to me but to others whose resonate at a similar frequency.

She listened intently as I told her my experience of how I had been there and what had I seen and then as my mind tried to convince myself I was not insane how I rationalized it and understood what was going on that actually caused me to see what I saw it was so wonderful to be listened to to be heard non-judgmental with the eyes of someone seeking true understanding and to know my understanding I felt validated in my experience then as a human being and when I saw the Unicorn.

If I was a paranoid person though I would be very alarmed to think that I had spent the day writing on my tablet only to have someone come into the store under the facade of being a client to prod me to open up more it seems highly unlikely in the normal course of conversation that a person would divulge things about unicorns I have worked in public service with many clients over the years and it has rarely ever come up in conversation unless I was the one initiating it so I just wanted to note that it was yesterday morning that I started these notes on my unicorn and it was yesterday afternoon shortly after arriving at work at 12:30 the woman Janice approached me.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Thu Nov 17, 2022 10:30 am

It has been a very interesting lunar return for me, the physical pain I experienced brought me to examine some of my Jupiter in Scorpio traits. In trying to stop the pain I did body work focusing on e pending and creating space and cooling down the inflamed nerves.
I had an ah ha moment in which I felt that most of my negative feelings about my family were actually not my own true thoughts and feelings about my feelings but were regurgitating phrases of my older sister whose Jupiter is conjunct mine, who vocalized loudly and frequently her pains and disappointment in her family. My eldest sister Jupiter placement expressed more kindness and understanding towards the family.

It made me think also about how in a way because of this Jupiter conjunction I had put blinders on regarding to whom and how I I love certain people, buildings walls and not allowing myself to love certain people because either she loved them or she didnt. I find this especially true in regards to the male relationships, especially my father but also love interests. At a young age she would very aggressively let me know that she was interested in someone and I was to stay away, but yet if I was interested in someone she would either tear them down or seduce them. (both my exs visited her in CA after we had broken up).

When I realized that I was holding my love for another person out of fear of her and her possible reaction, I felt first like such a horrible person for ever deliberately not sending as much loving thoughts and feelings as I could to another person, but then like a huge release or a wall crashing down I felt this huge surging wave of love flow out for me with a resounding, Yes!! I do love you and am so thankful for you!!! It really was a very freeing and liberating moment and my back has not bothered me since.

I see that the sun will be conjuct my natal moon the day after my new lunar return next week. I'm planning on taking more time to be with my dad and help him out as much as possible. The VA has officially classified him 100% disabled at this time, which is horrible in a way but at least for once in his life he isnt having to rob Peter to Pay Paul as he says, so that's a relief.
I just wanted to share about my sister and mine Juputer conjunction and the family dynamic I experienced sharing Jupiters combative placement. It often felt as a child that she would explode about how cruddy and poor people we were and I would inside be screaming No we are awonderful powerful loving family!!

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Veronica » Thu Nov 24, 2022 6:59 am

Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends here who celebrate this day of sharing and love.
I am blessed with a nice new lunar return that brings to me today a most welcome day of rest and relaxing at home with my children. I'm going to cook us a nourishing meal while listening to my favorite music and enjoy the beautiful sunshine and warmish weather.
I am looking forward to this month lunar return and spending time with my father on my days off. It has been a capitalists delight at work in retail, with most everyone being especially kind and considerate which is very nice to share in that loving feeling. I dont know if it's the people who shop at my store or the population at large but I'm not running into nasty self serving people, but a population who is trying very hard to make conscious choices that support the fact that we are all interconnected.
anyways, As always I hope you all are making the best out of everything in everyway.

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Re: Veronica (part 2)

Post by Jim Eshelman » Thu Nov 24, 2022 8:19 am

Wow, Jupiter on Midheaven, Venus closely setting, a close Sun-Moon conjunction for new starts, and a Mercury-Venus conjunction foreground. Happy Thanksgiving, indeed!
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