Lance: Chart Discussion

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Lance
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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Fri Aug 10, 2018 6:22 am

Maybe under other stars.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Tue Oct 23, 2018 7:06 am

Jim Eshelman wrote:Lance, you have a Mercury-Mars SSR with Moon conjunct Neptune. At the very least, this is stimulating and opening new realities. Mercury exactly on your Mercury, exactly angular, squared by Mars is, among other things, a great year for learning amazing things non-stop.
Well, if tomorrow and this morning are any indicator, it's going to be a year for having to watch my temper.

Asserting and defending my position regarding my own experiences, beliefs, and ideas - That's what keeps bubbling up so far. I've recently been pretty silent compared to more distant past behavior, but I can feel it rising.

I had the thought that I might be able to find an outlet in writing out my thoughts instead of railing into the void of the internet.

I don't know. I'm not excited about it. I'm not sure my temper has ever once accomplished anything good for me. When the words come easily to express my anger, it can be very destructive.

Bottom line: I'm kind of anxious about it, but I hope there's a good side to it.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Tue Oct 23, 2018 7:29 am

(Continuing)...

I'll tell you what I'm tempted to do.

I'm tempted to write a Facebook discourse to all my old past church family to say basically, "This is where I've been, this is why I don't believe that anymore, this is what I now believe. Time for everyone to get over it." That only makes sense if you understand that I was once a pretty public figure with them.

I know they'd just chalk it up to me being "crazy" now. And it's not like I haven't already tried to "come out" like three times already. They just ignore it and act like nothing happened. It's so weird. So weird.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Jupiter Sets at Dawn » Tue Oct 23, 2018 8:30 am

People who want to understand, will ask you. Other people, don't waste your time. Generally being deep into a religious group, and leaving that religion generally means leaving some friends, even old and dear ones, and having a hole in your life till you move on and find something else to fill that hole with. Sorry. Maybe channel that energy that's making you angry into something that doesn't. Like finding some new friends who feel the way you do. Most religions have a group of "fallen away" somewhere. That's where to let out your feelings about that religion, and then find a way to move on.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Tue Oct 23, 2018 8:53 am

Thanks for the advice. I probably won't follow the temptation. Past experience has taught me that it is in no way fruitful. In my more reflective moments, I see them as right where they need to be on their own journeys.

But that energy feels at hand and ready. Yes, writing will probably be the best outlet.

Or, maybe I just had an off day, and I'm making too much of it. We'll see.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Tue Oct 23, 2018 2:33 pm

Ah.... Mars is also transiting square my natal Mercury at the moment.

Probably just an irritable day or so.

Transiting Saturn also conjunct natal Jupiter - no MegaMillions for me. Pthpthttt.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:33 am

Well, circumstances have brought change, and it's welcome (mostly).

One company bought another company, and the best move for our family right now is to move closer to Houston.

And there are several reasons I really like the idea. It's stressful as hell, but I am committed not to resist this change.

It could be a new start for me - a much needed one.

Mercury and Mars in my SSR.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Jim Eshelman » Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:46 am

There's a lot of change in your chart now and in the near future.

Uranus is making its way back to your Sun for a final wave. Pluto currently squares your Uranus 0°06'. Saturn will square your Mars in a few weeks (which I only know because it's 4° later on my Sun, by February).
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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Fri Dec 07, 2018 7:56 pm

Thank you for taking a look.
URANUS aspecting Natal SUN
A new lease on life is in store for you! Your self-perspective and sense of life-purpose are clarified and your vital creative spirit awakened. Professional limelight, and even advance, is possible, as others become aware of your talents.
Yes, I feel like I woukd like a large plate of this.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Fri Jan 11, 2019 9:28 am

My SSR has Mercury and Mars angular.

The main thing I've noticed is constant pushes toward activity. Of course, this also ties in with the need to change jobs and move this year. And stemming from that are also arguments from all the stress and unknown. All these things seem tied in with the symbolism.

I keep trying to cooperate instead of resisting. So far, that seems to work best.

Not really a fan, but not as bad as it could be.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Sun Jan 13, 2019 7:59 am

And THERE it is...!

I’ve been following my chart from an app on my phone. Through some kind of glitch, the app didn’t show my t Pluto sqq n Saturn until after it was precise and separating.

Yeah. That’s gotta be the one that’s killing me - added in with everything else.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Mon Mar 18, 2019 4:57 pm

Lance wrote:
Wed Jul 11, 2018 12:06 pm
Mental Health - t Saturn/r Neptune Pattern

I'm a little hesitant to go into this, but I'm more interested in feedback and correction if there is any.

I have a mood disorder. I don't really want to go into it very far for privacy sake, but I have to give the basic context.

There have been two times in my life when it really flared up very badly. Both times, seven years apart, I was not medicated at the origin of the flare-up. That's never going to happen again, by the way, but that's how it happened twice.

Both times, I went manic and delusional. Both times coincided with a Saturn transit to my natal Neptune - square the first time, conjunct the second. Both times, it was a three-pass event, pass, retrograde, then pass again. And both times, the flare-up only occurred on the third and final pass. The first time, the square was partile. The second time, the conjunction was a few days short of becoming partile when it started.

What I've also noticed is that the quality of the mania and delusion followed the influence of the other active transits at the time.

The first time, the original nature of the mania was definitely euphoric.
Jupiter partile square Uranus
Jupiter partile semisquare Neptune

The second time, the original nature of the mania was definitely dysphoric (angry).
Pluto partile square Mars

This is huge for me... This means it's predictable. Full dose on the meds. Should be okay.
Currently have t. Saturn semisquare r. Neptune, exact March 21st, the day we’re supposed to close on our house.

No delusional thoughts, but plenty of anxiety. I mean, I have a lot going on in my life right now. It’s natural. But I also remember this same ...high frequency anxious “buzzing” of energy from it. Fear.

I was pretty good until today (10’ Applying).

This is where the insomnia would normally get triggered, and the more delusional thinking and paranoia would follow that.

Have the Doc’s permission to go full dose on the meds.

Benedryl to help sleep.

Eat red meat.

An ounce of prevention..

Hopefully I’ll be okay.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Tue Mar 19, 2019 11:36 am

Today is a lot better regarding anxiety and that really high-strung feeling.

Happy about that. Thank God for medicine.

:)

First of three passes. December may be rough. We'll see.

Hopefully the semisquare won't be as serious as the stronger ones.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Tue Mar 19, 2019 3:00 pm

I checked the t. Saturn sesqui-square r. Neptune from October 2011.

I don't seem to have been showing any symptoms, but I was full of anxiety trying to get my master's thesis finished and approved. It was another intensely anxious event.

I see the "making concrete reality" of my thesis, you could say. But for me, this transit always seems to herald intensely anxious events.

And there is the theme of "making concrete reality" each time.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Sun Mar 24, 2019 3:20 pm

Yes.

Transiting Saturn semisquare r. Neptune is a very difficult transit for me. There are even repeated themes in the anxious thoughts. Job insecurity, love insecurity. The fact that this is only the first pass is ...concerning.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Jim Eshelman » Sun Mar 24, 2019 3:27 pm

Lance wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2019 3:20 pm
Transiting Saturn semisquare r. Neptune is a very difficult transit for me. There are even repeated themes in the anxious thoughts. Job insecurity, love insecurity. The fact that this is only the first pass is ...concerning.
Complete the transformation - the inner shifts - required by the transit on the first pass. Then the universe won't have to raise Her voice to get your attention on the second and third passes.
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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Sun Mar 24, 2019 6:45 pm

I feel like I atood my ground well this time. I feel like I “passed.” I didn’t do anything crazy even though it got pretty dang intense.

I don’t know how to tell if I made the appropriate inner shifts.

I hope so.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Avshalom Binyamin » Sun Mar 24, 2019 7:04 pm

I've gotten caught up being anxious about what terrible things a transit might bring.

Don't be afraid.

If you embrace the spirit of the energy, it's never so terrible.

I feared my Saturn Venus transit, and the woman I love rejected me.

So I embraced the spirit of the Saturn-Venus transit, and in response the woman I love, who was scared and mean to me last weekend, apologized and spent this weekend doting over me with loving eyes.

There is nothing to fear.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Mon Mar 25, 2019 4:02 am

Could you maybe give me a clue about how to get in line with the spirit of the Saturn transiting natal Neptune?

Thanks.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Mon Mar 25, 2019 4:27 am

I am so desperate for the things that give me comfort, but it seems Saturn would want to limit them.

I feel like a junkie who can’t get his fix of love, or sex, or security, or questionable habits. But those feel like the only things that help.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Avshalom Binyamin » Mon Mar 25, 2019 6:23 am

The ideals and dreams that are grounded and practical will be stronger for it.

The fantasies that aren't realistic are just empty comfort. It hurts at first, but it's best to have those illusions destroyed.

So being determined enough to make your dreams a reality, while being flexible enough to let go of illusions?

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Mon Mar 25, 2019 6:43 am

Yeah... That's a really tall order right now.

I'll try to tune into it.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Jim Eshelman » Mon Mar 25, 2019 7:03 am

Holding a desired vision of the future isn't incompatible with accepting the actuality of the present.

Most people tend to think these are incompatible, that accepting an undesired present is selling out on the future. Not so. It's more than a cliché that you can't navigate to where you want to go if you haven't a clue where you presently are.

It's the Buddhist middle road: Desire a thing with all your heart and soul and be ultimately indifferent to whether you get it. That's the gold.
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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Lance » Mon Mar 25, 2019 7:34 am

I don't mean to frustrate anyone here, but ...HOW... does one actually accomplish that? First the desire, then the detachment, flipping back and forth? I can't imagine it.

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Re: Lance: Chart Discussion

Post by Jim Eshelman » Mon Mar 25, 2019 7:44 am

Lance wrote:
Mon Mar 25, 2019 7:34 am
I don't mean to frustrate anyone here, but ...HOW... does one actually accomplish that? First the desire, then the detachment, flipping back and forth? I can't imagine it.
Not flipping back and forth. Concurrent.

Given time, I can probably think of a better analogy, but something close is: Being on vacation and driving to somewhere you really REALLY want to go while sitting back to enjoy the ride. There is no contradiction between wanting to be where you're going and relaxing into where you are.

It's a trip!
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