Veronica

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Veronica
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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sun Jan 13, 2019 12:41 pm

MY pleasure:)
I loved it.
I found it surfing SSR
viewtopic.php?f=19&t=1174#p6891

I added more to that post FWIW

Jims understanding of nature reminds me of a circle that has no bounds ;)

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sun Jan 13, 2019 12:49 pm

James Condor wrote:
Sat Jan 12, 2019 11:49 am
Your Sun and Moon signs require freedom/ space along with Venus-Uranus. That'd be tough. I picture Aquarius getting married and divorced a few times
James,
I didnt get what you were saying at first.
I was caught up in some transit.
If Im not mistaken or being vain
I think you were implying that for a partner it would be tough to give me my space and freedom?
Or were you meaning for me personally its tough needing my space and freedom yet having my venus Uranus sexual/desire needs?
Either way
Thanks for understanding

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sun Jan 13, 2019 2:12 pm

Hey!
Good news.....
2020 SSR has T Mars almost dircetly on my dec. (Which does though then square my pluto)
Wow
What on earth is THAT gonna be like.

At least that nasty saturn pluto transitting my venus will be farther away. As well as that T neptune hitting my mars.

Iknow i know...
Finsh up 2018 first and get through 2019 not burned alive....and then deal.....

Lordy lordy me with mats on an angle for a year!!!
And I did say I believed the univetse loves me right?

I

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:01 pm

I dont understand something:

My natal sun is 4.20 degrees from my MC....which is not a vertical line but at a slant.

My natal pluto is directly at the bottom of my chart at 4.46 Virgo. It is square .0.34 the horizon line of the ASC/DEC. So I can see that as an angle and you listed it in my initial summary.

But if my sun is almost on top of that MC isnt that also concidered foreground/angular?
If so why didnt you list it...because the degree is so wide. I thought I recalled being told my sun was angular as well.

If that is so
Then would my SSR charts always have an angular transit sun?
viewtopic.php?f=53&t=229#p1549

And could my n pluto ever be double angled by being at the bottom and maybe having the IC/Mc axis line up during a return?

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Re: Veronica

Post by Jim Eshelman » Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:38 pm

Veronica wrote:
Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:01 pm
My natal sun is 4.20 degrees from my MC....which is not a vertical line but at a slant.

My natal pluto is directly at the bottom of my chart at 4.46 Virgo. It is square .0.34 the horizon line of the ASC/DEC. So I can see that as an angle and you listed it in my initial summary.

But if my sun is almost on top of that MC isnt that also concidered foreground/angular?
If so why didnt you list it...because the degree is so wide. I thought I recalled being told my sun was angular as well.
Your Sun is most definitely foreground. It's not quite as close as it looks ecliptically, but it's 7° from Midheaven.
If that is so
Then would my SSR charts always have an angular transit sun?

No. On average, the SSR Midheaven advances 90° plus two or three ore degrees. That means that in 39 years it "walks around" the zodiac. You move through cycles where each natal planet in turn is foreground then not. (Natal and transiting Sun are the same in the SSR, of course.)
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Re: Veronica

Post by Jupiter Sets at Dawn » Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:58 pm

Your chart is a map. It's not representing a flat circle. It's a sphere. The Asc and Dsc are not due East and West, but are where the zodiac crosses the horizon line. The MC is where the zodiac is due south. The center of the circle is the zenith, directly above your head.

European charts (like from astro.com) show the sections of right ascension stretched or squashed and the zodiac signs all the same size. Most American charts show the angles all at 90° from each other with the Right Ascension all the same size, while the signs get squashed or stretched between them.

Neither way is wrong. They're just different ways of trying to represent a sphere in a flat map. Hold your chart up over your head with the ASC east and the DSC west, and the MC south and look a the face of it, not the back. That's how the map should be oriented.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:05 am

Jim Eshelman wrote:
Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:38 pm
Veronica wrote:
Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:01 pm
My natal sun is 4.20 degrees from my MC....which is not a vertical line but at a slant.

My natal pluto is directly at the bottom of my chart at 4.46 Virgo. It is square .0.34 the horizon line of the ASC/DEC. So I can see that as an angle and you listed it in my initial summary.

But if my sun is almost on top of that MC isnt that also concidered foreground/angular?
If so why didnt you list it...because the degree is so wide. I thought I recalled being told my sun was angular as well.
Your Sun is most definitely foreground. It's not quite as close as it looks ecliptically, but it's 7° from Midheaven.
If that is so
Then would my SSR charts always have an angular transit sun?

No. On average, the SSR Midheaven advances 90° plus two or three ore degrees. That means that in 39 years it "walks around" the zodiac. You move through cycles where each natal planet in turn is foreground then not. (Natal and transiting Sun are the same in the SSR, of course.)
Joy of Joy
I knew there was something important I was still forgetting.

I was sleeping still

My mother told me I was due on 2/14 but overslept.
Didnt want to wake up I was having such good dreams.

Very interesting/cool about the MC moving like that. Ill think about that for a while while Im awake now.
Thanks!!

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:38 pm

Something really clicked for me today.

Maybe it was the T mercury and T saturn semi conjunct my venus.

Maybe the T moon semi conjunct my saturn

Or even t. Venus semi conjunct my jupiter/neptune/moon

Or maybe it was T neptune eeked a tad bit further from my mars

But it was like a fog lifted, or I woke up or maybe its my sons 18th birthday tomorrow and I saw myself through his eyes today...

What ever it was. It clicked and I feel much better.

Its been wierd not remembering
But I remember now

I dont know why it took so long.
Maybe I just needed that ego dissolving love drugged feeling so I could wake up a new and leave all the nightmares from Eric behind in a healthy whole way.
I dont know and it doesnt really matter.
My sun is shining
And tomorrow is my sonshines bday
And im gonna go play music and dance and bake him a cherry cake and ice it properly now that JSAD taught me how to. :)

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Re: Veronica

Post by Avshalom Binyamin » Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:51 pm

Welcome back V! Each life has it's own blend of discovery and familiarity. And the discovery by necessity involves periods of being lost.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Wed Jan 16, 2019 4:31 pm

Avshalom Binyamin wrote:
Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:51 pm
Welcome back V! Each life has it's own blend of discovery and familiarity. And the discovery by necessity involves periods of being lost.
Thanks Av!
You are right for sure! The more I have looked into my chart and others the more I realize that we all share from the same cup.
I watched one of my favorite movies the other day Lilo and Stitch. The poor little science expierement at one point calls out "Im lost"
He had no mother or family. He was created in a lab.
I have a family. I have a history and a past. I have a personality and character and selfhood.
But I lost it.
I didnt loose it falling in love with Craig.
I didnt loose it marrying Eric, but Eric did cause it.
A funny thing happens in life.
In some mythology its said you divide for the sake of love.

Thats why it clicked the other day. It was the last day that my baby boy was my responsibility. Solely my responsibility. Hes a man now. He is completely accountable for what he now chooses to do.

When a woman gives birth, she has to put aside herself. She has to put aside her dreams and wants and needs in order to raise her young. Its no longer about what she wants. Its about what her baby wants. It dissolves your ego and gives you a completely different perspective.

I did what I had my heart set on since I was a little girl. I had a beautiful baby boy and I took care of him and loved him up and gave up everything I wanted from this materistic world so that I could give him everything he wanted and needed. I did that. He never went without. I did but I didnt care about that. Thtough his whole entire life if he needed me or anything I gave it to him. And I believe that is how motherhood is supposed to be.
You rip apart your ego and set it aside for sonething else bigger and better, a dream of more then just yourself and your selfish tangible desires.
Some men expierence that but most men I seem to know fight to keep there self, thier youth, thier ego and pride when they have a child. They resist and persist acting like a child themselves and thats too bad for them because they miss out on the true magic of what being a parent is meant to do. It is supposed to test you and stress you and push and pull and hurt and make you wanna scream, but you dont show it because the baby is watching.
My son is the most wonderful kindhearted good natured brilliant young man. He really is. Im so happy for each and ever choice I made to set aside myself and focus on doing the best job I could to raise him as best as I possibly could.
The men in my family are criminals, crooks, cheats and a host of other bad words that I am saying because those are words they use to describe themselves.
As a little girl my heart was set on raising a boy not like that. Not a drunk crook liar. He has exceeded his heritage in all ways. Hes gotten better grades, had better friends, awards from the school and community ect ect.
Id say Im proud, but pride is a word that irks me. It means a tricky thing, because to say you are proyd of someone means that it relates to you, that it was somehow because of you that tgey are great. So when a parent says im proud, they are really saying simply "i am great, it is because of me"

I did tell my son how awsome I thought he was today. I was driving him far away for weekend camping sledding trip. I told him that he has done and achieved more then any of the other men in my family for his age. I told him by the time all of the males in our family were his age they all had been arrested and jailed or worse.

He looked at me and gave me this smile that melted my heart.

And then do you know what my little angle said to me in a voice that I swear sounded just like Craig?

He said
"Its probably just because I can run faster"

!!!

I laughed and said "oh really, well keep running then"

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Re: Veronica

Post by Danica » Wed Jan 16, 2019 6:06 pm

Veronica wrote:
Wed Jan 16, 2019 4:31 pm

Id say Im proud, but pride is a word that irks me. It means a tricky thing, because to say you are proyd of someone means that it relates to you, that it was somehow because of you that tgey are great. So when a parent says im proud, they are really saying simply "i am great, it is because of me"
You have every right to feel proud, and to say that - and aloud!
QUID VOLIS ILUD FAC

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:06 am

Danica wrote:
Wed Jan 16, 2019 6:06 pm
Veronica wrote:
Wed Jan 16, 2019 4:31 pm

Id say Im proud, but pride is a word that irks me. It means a tricky thing, because to say you are proyd of someone means that it relates to you, that it was somehow because of you that tgey are great. So when a parent says im proud, they are really saying simply "i am great, it is because of me"
You have every right to feel proud, and to say that - and aloud!
Your right!!
You too mommy
Happy Birthday sweetheart

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Re: Veronica

Post by James Condor » Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:34 pm

James,
I didnt get what you were saying at first.
I was caught up in some transit.
If Im not mistaken or being vain
I think you were implying that for a partner it would be tough to give me my space and freedom?
Or were you meaning for me personally its tough needing my space and freedom yet having my venus Uranus sexual/desire needs?
Either way
Thanks for understanding
The former. I don't think it would be tough on you personally but more so for your partner

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Thu Jan 17, 2019 4:01 pm

James Condor wrote:
Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:34 pm
James,
I didnt get what you were saying at first.
I was caught up in some transit.
If Im not mistaken or being vain
I think you were implying that for a partner it would be tough to give me my space and freedom?
Or were you meaning for me personally its tough needing my space and freedom yet having my venus Uranus sexual/desire needs?
Either way
Thanks for understanding
The former. I don't think it would be tough on you personally but more so for your partner
I think your right.

In all 3 of my relationships, I believe that the men believed I was out chasing skirts in my much needed solitude. They didnt understand solitude means being alone...my moon/neptune makes me so burned out from social interactions. I need alone time to let my nerves quiet. They worried if I was off alone that some preditor/competition would come across me and be able to take me away. They didnt trust me because they projected a fantasy of some sex crazed party girl onto me in thier mind.
It was my need to get away and sort things out in my mind that was the downfall in those relationships.
It probably hurt thier feelings and made them feel rejected and shut out which was never the case. It was that I really have a hard time with so much stimulus. As a double hub I can bear a lot for a long time but when I have to decompress it is a self preservational need to get away that can make me literally almost jump out of a moving car.
Its how I am. Super duper allie upper sensitive. The needing alone time is the universes counter balance to that so as a human being I can function and thrive in my own way.

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Re: Veronica

Post by James Condor » Fri Jan 18, 2019 7:08 am

Is life bigger than our personal desires and without us, what is life . A paradox. Perception. The mystery of love and companionship. Relationships are challenging for me and I understand. I am conscientious and caring enough where it makes them challenging. Maturity helps to understand it.
After re reading your question to me, because it makes it harder on your potential life partners, it also makes it harder on you. But, I think if you focus on what you truly want and commit to that, then you can't have regrets, unless you are toxic. Until one is confident enough to make yourself...
I've been with woman who are toxic in ways but they don't know it. Its clear from there history. They don't see it. I usually don't see or understand every bit of it.
Synastry is big. I can be a turn off to some and turn on to others. We have blind spots. Bottom line though is not the tragic flaws but the comedic flaws. Life is too short for settling.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Fri Jan 18, 2019 8:34 am

James Condor wrote:
Fri Jan 18, 2019 7:08 am
Is life bigger than our personal desires and without us, what is life . A paradox. Perception. The mystery of love and companionship. Relationships are challenging for me and I understand. I am conscientious and caring enough where it makes them challenging. Maturity helps to understand it.
After re reading your question to me, because it makes it harder on your potential life partners, it also makes it harder on you. But, I think if you focus on what you truly want and commit to that, then you can't have regrets, unless you are toxic. Until one is confident enough to make yourself...
I've been with woman who are toxic in ways but they don't know it. Its clear from there history. They don't see it. I usually don't see or understand every bit of it.
Synastry is big. I can be a turn off to some and turn on to others. We have blind spots. Bottom line though is not the tragic flaws but the comedic flaws. Life is too short for settling.
it does make it hard on me, because I do understand the fears and insecurities and I end up catering to his ego(ie attempting to reassure my fidelity, over compensating with adoration which makes even more suspicious and insecure and demasulinizes because he feels if he were enough of a man I wouldnt. Want to go any where)

I know exactly what I want and I do try to keep my focus on it. I want what my parents had. A partnership, a give and take, a dance of dance of the bliss of venus and jupiter, the eternal love of two souls who are fresh in love like a betrothed couple how cannot wait to be wed and who will do anything and everything for thier beloved.

I know what that feels like. Its in my back pocket like a picture in a wallet of a loved one gone away on a long trip. I can pull out that feeling when ever I need a reminder of what I truly need and want and it makes me able to resist the temptation s to fail that love and to persist in doing what my heart tells me needs to be done to bring that back into reality

I wont settle for anything else.
Everything else is a trap and a trick and a distraction.

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Re: Veronica

Post by James Condor » Sat Jan 19, 2019 9:02 am

I know a few Scorpio moons who are 36 and 38 and not married and never I am not married. Never been. I might think Venus-Uranus has to do with bachelors. Maybe Moon-Neptune too. Aquarius sun probably high in divorce. High in marriage though is counterintuitive to me.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Jan 19, 2019 9:44 am

I got married because I was pregnant and did not want an illigitmate child. That would have broken my fathers heart. I love my father and respect his wisdom and authority and values.
I divorced my husband after 15 years of abuse and numerous attempt s to get him psychological help. He chose to be a partier and rot his brain and heart with hate fear and dysfunction.
It was my angular aquarius as well as my scorpio moon that gave me the strenght to break away from that circus.

Marriage or the sacred bond between two souls is a deeply personal understanding and acknowledgment of forces greater then us ever striving for more expressions of love.

marrigae is aseed that was forged in hearts of two souls. It is beyond a piece of paper. Though the ceremony and celebration of love existing is important. Between two souls in love marriage is not important. In fact I would think in this day and age sometimes marriage is what causes to souls who love each other to drift away as they get mired down in the heavy mundane physicality of this worlds existance.

I dont want nor need a promise.
I want and need only love and time.

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Re: Veronica

Post by James Condor » Sun Jan 20, 2019 6:53 am

I agree with you in people can drift apart after being close. My experience shows this. Living with two partners before, we just got tired of it. Usually the closeness is attachment. One very important thing in relationships is to remain independent. Keep it fresh. Give space. No control. No games. Learn. Don't get jealous. Don't envy others. Respect the other. Be grateful.
And In this day age I would think people marry less. I would think why go through with it knowing the potential pain and suffering it can cause. But, there are many ways to love. And the beauty of a good marriage keeps hope alive.

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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Sun Jan 20, 2019 7:02 am

James Condor wrote:
I agree with you in people can drift apart after being close. My experience shows this. Living with two partners before, we just got tired of it. Usually the closeness is attachment. One very important thing in relationships is to remain independent. Keep it fresh. Give space. No control. No games. Learn. Don't get jealous. Don't envy others. Respect the other. Be grateful.
And In this day age I would think people marry less. I would think why go through with it knowing the potential pain and suffering it can cause. But, there are many ways to love. And the beauty of a good marriage keeps hope alive.
:) Well put Mr. Condor.

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Re: Veronica

Post by James Condor » Sun Jan 20, 2019 7:11 am

Thanks Steve

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sun Jan 20, 2019 7:21 am

Why go through with a pregnancy knowing it not only will not only hurt but possibly kill you?

Im not afraid of pain.
It sucks for sure
But i have a million and one nerves and as long as one feels good.....

I have hope for love everyday.
For myself
And everyone
And I cry when I see cute old couples walking hand in hand in the park because it is a joy to know that where thete is love there is life.

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Re: Veronica

Post by James Condor » Sun Jan 20, 2019 8:09 am

Out of left field with pregnancy thing. I won't blame anyone for pro choice

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sun Jan 20, 2019 8:14 am

Why go through with marriage if it could potentially bring pain and suffering?

My pregnancy comment was in response to that.

Why love anyone at all. They could die any moment and there you are in pain.....possibly...for most.

Everyone has diffetent pain thresholds. The pain of loosing a marriage to divorce may not compare to the pain of loosing a long term lover/partner.....it depends on the person.

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Into the mystic

Post by Veronica » Tue Jan 22, 2019 6:25 pm

Into the Mystic
https://youtu.be/syIUmrSJWAU

So today was:
the conjunction of transiting venus and jupiter to my natal mars.
The transiting fullish blood moon opp. My natal sun
Transiting mars square my natal venus and opp. My natal uranus
And transiting moon square my natal moon

I woke up at 4 after some wierd dream about my mother in law trying to give me a baby bunny that was covered in fleas. I tried and tried to get all those bugs off but the burrowed down into its skin like a tick and I couldnt do anything for the poor thing so I let it go.

I changed up my morning routine and took my shower first and then did yoga and and meditation/prayers. I just didnt like how the dogs had been acting all crazy in the morning lately and I wanted to really be alone and not doing downward dog with a dog diwn under me like they have been.

It was nice and I think I am going to stick to this new routine for a while at least and see how they respond. My sheppard is really attached to me and doesnt lije me anywhere in the house without her lately, but it sonetimes is a real speed bump having to navigate around her.

After my work out I took the dogs out and it was still freezing cold and cloudy at 5:30. Overnight we had a new dusting of sniw atop the foot we got this weekend and it was the soft light looking powdery snow. It made the yard and trees look so pretty. It was cold out for the pups so I went in and had breakfast and got ready for work.

I was dissappointed it was cloudy.

The wind must have picked up or sonething shifted though because at 6:30 when I went out to start the car I was greeted by a clear sky and stars. I love cold cold mornings and starlight. Its like the light from the stars warms my insides and I dont even notice how cold it is.

It was still very dark and when I turned on the outside light I was greeted by a million stars on the ground twinkling at me like fallen wishes from heaven as the light danced across this soft bed of snow and each snowflake glistened back at the light from the bulb. Twinkling snow is one of the most beautiful things in the world. Its like each individual droplet of wAter is eluminated in a desire to be seen for its own unique and blessed existance. Like a living disco ball that nature created so us humans can dance when there is no music but the silence of the coldest air on the verge of freezing tight upon itself.

I was so happy. Seeing such beautiful thing in nature brings me such joy and lets me forget. It brings me right to the moment, like the moment of birth when there is nothing behind and nothing in front, just the birthing of the moment for all that it is. Nature is a blessing.

I had paused in that beautiful moment looking at the sparkling snow for what seemed like forever but the morning grew pale and my trance was broken by my remembrance of what else beside the stars and snow could show me.

I went around front and there in all its glory was what I longed to see. What I had waited months and months for and had been sad that I may miss due to clouds. There up in the sky to my left was the eternal kiss of bliss, of glorious beautiful venus and her lover jupiter entwined in a galactic dance that set the sky afire with their passion and made all the stars pale in comparison.

To my right was Momna Luna full and fat still, slightly orange and opaque shining her big bold clear face out across the heavens as if in a way watching and blessing the kissing act of those love sick planets who were so boldly and brazenly lighting up the sky that is her realm of dominion.

To see these three heaven bodies so clear and bright and powerfully owning the sky, while little me on each just a small dot of nothing made me feel triply blessed and oh so thankful that I had gotten to share this brief moment in time. I knew that in a few minute the earth world spin and the light would come and the event would be hidden from the eyes of the world forever.

As I drove to work it seemed as if the moon followed me and while I couldnt see them, I knew venus and Jupiter were there still, still kissing in the early morning freezing cold.

When I got to work it was much later and the moon had changed from the orange back to her normal greyish white. I have seen lots and lots of full moons and a good share of planets and their interactions. I love it. It brings me joy and makes me feel alive and apart of something beautiful and good and loving.


This morning though, I saw something I had never seen before. It took my breath away. I had to stop and turn my car around and pull over so I could see if it was real, becauae I didnt believe it when I first saw it.

I had been driving and thinking of love and thinking of how I once had been kissed on my forhead, I was laying down and he was laying on me, gently and soft as is his way, and he reached up with his lips and kissed me right in the middle of my forehead. It was the best most memorable kiss I have ever had.

I drove that morning in my car thinking of the heavenly kiss I had just seen and it reminded me of that heavenly kiss to my head.

And thats right when I saw it. The timing couldnt have been better. Ive never seen anything like it before. The fields were are covered in fresh sparking snow and the moon was hanging low in the west when I pulled around my car and there in the east was the sun rising.

Yet this was no orb I gave ever seen. It at first seemed orbish but at the apex, the center point of the rising sun there appeared the brightest cone of light, as if the sun it self was stretching up, a bright beam, a light in extension from the sun reaching up into the heavens. It was breathtaking and I sat there in my car and watched as the sun rose, minute by minute, reaching this beam up and out until at somepoint something had to give and the ray of light withdrew back down in an instant and all that was left was the normal rising orange orb of light. It was strange and magical and Ive never seen anything like it and it made me so joyful and happy and thankful.

It was a great day after that. How could it not be.

Steve btw
I think you played this song for me once
Into the mystic?
It was playing in my car this morning;)

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