Veronica

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SteveS
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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Wed Jan 23, 2019 3:51 am

V wrote:
Steve btw
I think you played this song for me once
Into the mystic?
It was playing in my car this morning;)
:) Our life is full of synchronicities which is always touching the mystical. Nothing like the sight of starry skies before dawn allowing our minds to connect with the mystical.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ59spYH9mk

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Wed Jan 23, 2019 3:53 pm

SteveS wrote:
Wed Jan 23, 2019 3:51 am
V wrote:
Steve btw
I think you played this song for me once
Into the mystic?
It was playing in my car this morning;)
:) Our life is full of synchronicities which is always touching the mystical. Nothing like the sight of starry skies before dawn allowing our minds to connect with the mystical.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ59spYH9mk
Truth!

Nothing like the natural world to connect us with the mystical. Mind, body, heart, soul and spirit!
Thanks for tuning me on to a beautiful song.
It was out of the ordinary to hear it on early morning radio, but the whole morning was out of the ordinary.
:)

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Re: Veronica

Post by SteveS » Fri Jan 25, 2019 3:47 am

It is thouse special 'out of ordinary' days with our mind absorbed in the natural world which are so special. :)

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Jan 26, 2019 4:39 am

Its those good times
That help us get through the bad.

My car broke down again,
Serpentine belt broke
During the morning commute
No power steering and battery quickly dying
In a white out...bumper to bumper

No stars to be seen with the eye
But my heart remembered

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Feb 02, 2019 5:23 am

Last year my solar return had t. mercurcy conjoined my sun.

I really was in a bad place for most all of the end of 17 and most of 18.

I am grateful that I had a safe honest place to come to get help and answers.

Im a private person most all the time but I needed to work that conjunction and get things out.

My mercury is now going to joined with neptune so I dont feel like empowing the negative aspects of that potentially challenging conjunction. I said all I could dig up from my understanding of the stars.

Im gonna focus on living the chart instead of looking at it.
Thanks

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Mon Feb 18, 2019 6:48 am

The party is over

So today is my new Solar return.

Venus Saturn and Pluto are conjunct my Venus/Saturn/Uranus aspect.

And mercury and Neptune are conjunct and aspecting my natal Mars.

Having a Venus Saturn aspect in ones natal chart is very life defining. Having that powerful conjunction brings certain patterns to the front.

As a person with her moon conjunct neptune and her venus mars midpoint conjunct the Decendant and aspected by Pluto gives a different sort of life espicially with an angular pluto and Angular Aquarian Sun.

The trick to keeping things in life moving forward is to synthesize and keep it real.

Its hard to keep it real. Life is full of challenges and its easy to get discouraged and live in a fantasy world built inside walls to protect our self.

But I got this kick aff Mars in Scorpio that isnt gonna settle for any passing fancy for a transit that disempowers that natural place of personal power.

I have a lot of flaws and issues and quirks like all people but I dont quit and Im not a coward and I bust my aff for what I know is right and true.

Saturn is the great Teacher. Its said he is cold and lonely and severe and disappointing and espicially harsh with Lovely Venus. Those are thought and perspectives some mercurian bound him with. Its a lie and gossip and not the truth as Ive expirenced it.

Happiness has to be found inside.

All aspects are blessings and gifts even the most seemingly harsh. It is up to the individual to strip away the lies and veils and find the gold that was always there but they were to blind to see.

I trust the Universe knows how to make gold. It takes Time and space....I know that for sure.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Jim Eshelman » Mon Feb 18, 2019 10:00 am

Happy birthday!
Jim Eshelman
www.jeshelman.com

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Mon Feb 18, 2019 10:43 am

:D
Thank you

Beautiful day so far
Im sure its only going to get better because Im cooking a new soup.

I love soup.

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Jupiter Sets at Dawn
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Re: Veronica

Post by Jupiter Sets at Dawn » Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:15 pm

Happy Birthday.

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Re: Veronica

Post by FlorencedeZ. » Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:31 pm

Happy Birthday, Happy Solar Return Veronica.
Wishing you a lovely day.
May the year bring you happiness and many good things coming to you.
Regards,
Flo

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Re: Veronica

Post by Avshalom Binyamin » Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:01 pm

Happy birthday, V!

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:49 pm

Jupiter Sets at Dawn wrote:
Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:15 pm
Happy Birthday.
Thank You Jupiter :D

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:52 pm

FlorencedeZ. wrote:
Mon Feb 18, 2019 12:31 pm
Happy Birthday, Happy Solar Return Veronica.
Wishing you a lovely day.
May the year bring you happiness and many good things coming to you.
Regards,
Flo
Thank You Flo!
Its a beautiful snowy day here.
I love fresh falling snow.
If I can find happiness and good things in a New York Wintery Day....Im sure my year is going to be splendid indeed. Thank you for the sentiments they do touch my heart.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:52 pm

Avshalom Binyamin wrote:
Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:01 pm
Happy birthday, V!
Thank You Bro!!

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:56 pm

In case anyone wants to dance.....

This ones on me

https://youtu.be/w3vl28KSJUQ

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Tue Feb 19, 2019 8:11 am

Ya know what I just realized.....

Every year we all get a new solar return.

But only every eight years does the Beloved Venus arrive home.

A solar/ venus return year is a wonderous thing.
Wonderous enough that even if She brings two BadAsses with Her She outshines them in Her Beauty.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sun Feb 24, 2019 7:23 am

I did something that I think is horrible.
I did it because I was frustrated and in pain and confused and a host of psychological garbage.
It doesnt make it right though and I want to make it right.

I fell in love with a man.
It didnt work out.
I didnt understand why.
I wanted to know why.

Well the why was me.

I wanted him to understand me.
I wanted him to see my side.
I wanted him and was going to do anything I could to have him.
Because I have alot of human psychological garbage that compelled my desire to feel love and have something to love.

I came to this forum again to try and understand myself...last spring...and you all listened and shared your insights into my character in a kind delicate way. But your not fools.

I tried to work things out in my own head and heart but I was trapped in my own garbage thinking. Negative aspects if you will.

I hurt so bad all over and inside. It was killing me.

When I out of frustration broke Craigs window in a fit of jealous rage I also did something else.

I sent him a link to the forum.

Im sure some of you know that. And I did tell Jim.

Im sorry that I did that and I feel that I have to be honest and own up to my slimey behavior.

You all trusted me and I betrayed that.

I cant take it back. I would if I could.

So Ill just leave it at that. I dont have the words to express my self dissappointment. Im sorry. Thank you all for being kind and upfront and honest. Its not something I have in my circle of real life people and I admire you all and sincerely aspire to bring those qualities out in myself.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Jupiter Sets at Dawn » Sun Feb 24, 2019 1:55 pm

I don't think he knows (or cares) who we are, and I doubt he finds much of what we discuss here interesting. While others may be concerned, I'm not.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sun Feb 24, 2019 5:31 pm

Jupiter Sets at Dawn wrote:
Sun Feb 24, 2019 1:55 pm
I don't think he knows (or cares) who we are, and I doubt he finds much of what we discuss here interesting. While others may be concerned, I'm not.
Thank you
I appreciate that.
I think he knows a lot and cares a lot.
And you and the members do not have anything to be concerned about. He is a great man and I would do anything for him.

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Re: Veronica

Post by FlorencedeZ. » Mon Feb 25, 2019 1:43 am

I think it's quite nice you directed him here since it is a forum open for all to read and study.
And I think people will notice the integrity of the board members immediately studying Sidereal astrology here.
Veronica wrote:
Sun Feb 24, 2019 7:23 am
Because I have alot of human psychological garbage that compelled my desire to feel love and have something to love.
Veronica wrote:
Sun Feb 24, 2019 7:23 am
I tried to work things out in my own head and heart but I was trapped in my own garbage thinking. Negative aspects if you will.
Veronica wrote:
Sun Feb 24, 2019 7:23 am
Im sorry that I did that and I feel that I have to be honest and own up to my slimey behavior.
I think you put a negative spin on your well being by thinking this amongst other things about yourself. Your are wired to feel things deeply, your gift and are a true unbiased helper with a good heart. No need to put yourself down and maybe is was about time to smash a window. Remember, it's the 'idea' about him that keeps you going in your synastry with Craig. He seems like a real nice guy indeed but you may idealize him.

Becoming aware of the pattern doesn't erase the time you had with Craig imo. That stays forever and may give you the inspiration to move forward to the next chapter of your life to be able to be open to new things and new people. The sweetest revenge (very attractive for a Scorpio Moon ;) is living well.:)) I hope I am not sounding condescending, my native language is not english so bare with me :)
Regards,
Flo

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Mon Feb 25, 2019 3:00 pm

As always Flo your language barrier never comes across when you speak, to me at least, for you speak with love in your voice which come through crystal clear. I always tried to teach my children to speak with love in thier voice. Its an important part of effective communication and you IMO has mastered it.

Flo wrote:
"I think it's quite nice you directed him here since it is a forum open for all to read and study.
And I think people will notice the integrity of the board members immediately studying Sidereal astrology here. "

Thank you for saying so. I dont like talking behind peoples back and I try not to and this matter was so upsetting that I had to talk about it, and I knew this was the only place where I would be understood. Sidereal Astrology as a tool for self understanding and healing is the most effective form of psychological pathworking/therapy. Any soul stumbling upon this forum will immediately notice the caliber and integrity of the practioners here. I want to break bad habits of miscommunication that I have and felt it was his right to know what exactly I was saying and feeling. Imagine the horrible feeling one would have if by some chance you stumbled on a conversation all about you....the universe works in funny ways and I needed to explore this and felt that if he wanted to as well he should be able to.

Veronica wrote: ↑
Because I have alot of human psychological garbage that compelled my desire to feel love and have something to love.
Veronica wrote: ↑
I tried to work things out in my own head and heart but I was trapped in my own garbage thinking. Negative aspects if you will.
Veronica wrote: ↑
Im sorry that I did that and I feel that I have to be honest and own up to my slimey behavior.
Flo wrote

"I think you put a negative spin on your well being by thinking this amongst other things about yourself. "

I appreciate you saying so but I honestly feel that there was allready a negative spin created by me not being upfront from the get go, and those yucky feelings I have had for the past few months about it were because of that initial mistep in judgement. I feel better, cleaner and more balanced now that I have been honest.


Flo wrote

"Your are wired to feel things deeply, your gift and are a true unbiased helper with a good heart. No need to put yourself down and maybe is was about time to smash a window. "

Your kind to remind me of my gifts. Sometimes they feel hard to live with. My astrology, all of it, natal, midpoints, progressions and returns do completely articulate Me and my connection to the world at large. Being wired like I am makes relating very difficult somtimes and I am grateful for the people I have in my life who try and understand me and relate to me and encouage and inspire me as challenging as it is. Breaking a window seemed a better choice then breaking myself.

Flo wrote

"Remember, it's the 'idea' about him that keeps you going in your synastry with Craig. He seems like a real nice guy indeed but you may idealize him."

He is a real nice guy. I wouldnt have spent 5 years with him if he wasnt. We have no children or shared property or any physical ties. We are free adults who can do what ever they want. We can walk away from anything or anyone at any time we wish. We both have that angular pluto action working for us. As adults though I believe we recognize our inner needs and in a funny way click nicely to try and help each other meet those nonmaterial needs.
Your words there are rich with much deeper wisdom then they superficially seem.
My charts specifically denote the character istic of idealizing my beloved as well as deeper facets of desire and higher agape love. Our synasty and composite tell of this as well. I have known this man for almost 40years in many forms. The situation that I believe unfolded was that my psyche was in a place where it wanted a concrete/solid form to project and reflect. I do believe from what he said to me that his psyche as well wanted that Perfect Ideal person. But that robs him of growth, robs us both. For if I hold in my mind the ideal and call it Perfect then thats akin to death. It limits his growth , it locks him into a way of being and being seen and In a very real way becomes a powerstruggle: my psyche saying I love you just like this dont change I want you just this way and his psyche either stagnating to stay the same to selfsacrifice himself to make me happy, or fighting back and doing all to be unlike that which I had idealized. To preserve his right to be authentical himself. Idealiizing someone is a very very fine line to walk. It obviously has a place and use in development and a correct way to manage those feeling that I do naturally have towards him as shown in our chart.........

Flo wrote
"Becoming aware of the pattern doesn't erase the time you had with Craig imo. That stays forever and may give you the inspiration to move forward to the next chapter of your life to be able to be open to new things and new people."

Nothing will ever erase that time. It is. Forever.
He will always be the funny kid in the lunch room.
The badass middle schooler smoking cigs off school property.
The hot teenager riding quads in the field
The sexy highschooler withe the car and cell phone....
Ect ect ideal ideal ideal
He holds all those trophies a girl will have in her heart
And then the girl became a woman who really got to know the man and let the man really know her.
Ideal ideal ideal
But what you all know is that time moves on and things change. And to lock him in my heart as the ideal isnt the way to bring all that is a potential to its highest aspect. We are all dynamic individuals with the essence of the force of life coursing through our veins and heart.

I am inspired. Im inspired to see what else life will bring . Im inspired to try new things and push my comfort zone and explore my potential. I am inspired everyday to rise anew and refreshed and see what other newness life has. I dont want to look at things the same old way and to see people in the same light because that dimishes the viral essence of life that flows through everything.

The sweetest revenge (very attractive for a Scorpio Moon;) is living well.:)) I hope I am not sounding condescending, my native language is not english so bare with me :)
Regards,
Flo

Sweet Flo you do not at all sound condenseding.
You say the sweetest things.
You sound brilliant and full of deep wisdom.

Revenge: thats a deep well to drink from. I have heard so many ugly stories of revenge. Breaks my heart.

You know that I have no desire to seek revenge upon anyone. Its not my nature to act on that. I am human and in the heat of a moment have had thoughts of justice for some deeds, for sure as that is a human trait we all share.

But im too kind and thoughtful and way to sensitive. Kind in that I truly know that we are all connected. We are all one. We all have the same essence coursing through our hearts and that anything I do to another, in all reality I am doing to myself. To harm another is to harm myself. That is fact.

I have no reason at all to want any sort of revenge on anything on this planet. I dont need to "show them" by moving on and being well and sucessful. That line of thinking is negative. It denotes that I have given my power away to someone and that my ego feels threatened and I need to assert that I am better then them by being better off without them. I know many people who had this thought and it always blows up in thier face because it comes from a place of fear anger and insecurity. One should live well for one lives.

But.....thats not what you meant....or what you said.
You are soooooo correct when you say the sweetest revenge is living well.

Only I am to blame for my mistakes in life, my troubles, my woes and pain. No one did anything to me. All those hurts and messed up thoughts and down ward spirals were because of my own thought construct, my own patterns of behaviors and my own perseceptions of my environment. All the things that a human could say they need revenge for are just illusions perpetuated by the ego to survive. Every last one.
If indeed though I did feel the need for revenge there would be only two real things to blame.....myself....and Im not going to seek revegnge on myself for myself...thats just suicidal and Im not suicidal....and the Universe.
The sweetest revenge is living well.

I could very well though say: F you universe for giving me this crazy birthchart and all its super challenging aspects that just seemingly suck eggs. F you universe for making those planets move just so and messing up my environment and making things harder. F you universe for giving me a relationship that is outa this world and then having those damn planets move again and mess it all up again. I could say f you universe for hitting me with all this trouble and for hitting all my friends and loved ones and just being a big pain in the aff.
If any thoughts of revenge should be acted on it should be by saying ....is that all you got...you hit like a bitch. I am ready willing and able to navigate any storm that comes my way. I had my heart ripped in two and Im still here, still in love and ready for what ever life is going to toss at me.

But Again....revenge is for those who dont know the interconnected of all life. I know in my heart that the universe is on myside and wants me to thrive. Everything else is an illusion.
Im not going to do anything but live well because I am the living well.

Thank you for you understanding and your inspiration.
I hope my million and one words were enough to clarify my deep feelings and articulate my understanding of this funny thing called life
I am grateful that you share your understanding and wisdom with not only me but the whole world.

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Progressed mars conjunct natal venus

Post by Veronica » Fri Mar 15, 2019 4:39 pm

I look at my progressed mars conjunct my natal venus and I know what that means in some respects.
But my natal venus is also my midpoint of my sun and moon and neptune and jupiter. And my mars and mercury.

It is viceral. To the max.

I truelly believe that there has to be something good in this.
My mind wants to have something to hold onto, a reason. A because.
But I know reason is a curse.
My heart tries to reach out for that strong scorpio mars I have to have the courage to say "you are stronger then this, have faith"
And pluto and sun try to chime in that I can do and be....
That others have endured more

That it will pass

That "I" will make something good out of nothing.

That I can take that transit
And turn it on myself
Like no one else would know how to.

And that would be good and right and the proper thing to do.

Instead of the old way which statistically is where the definition comes from if Im not mistaken.

Viceral hurts deep deep inside.
I never knew how deep I was till I felt this and its been quite a while now.

Im sick of it.

And in 5-10 years itll be long gone.

I dont want to do the behaviors associated with this. Ive tried and tried.
I know one way to stop, like a jugernaught.

Just letting you know my psychological dealings with this and how I have been aware of it for a while and have come to the conclusion that I had better accept it and transform it and not allow it to break me and go the way most people do.

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Re: Veronica

Post by Danica » Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:22 pm

Your sp Mars now at 21*18' Sag is just leaving orb to nat Venus (20*18' Sag); entered orb in Sep 2015.

For Midpoints, 1* orb shows n Ve =Ju /N.Node.
QUID VOLIS ILUD FAC

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Re: Veronica

Post by Veronica » Sat Mar 16, 2019 11:33 am

Thank you for understanding Danica and giving me the finer points.
Reminding me of that midpoint was like receiving a beautiful rose.
Im lucky to have such a beautiful friend like you.

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St. Patricks day blessings

Post by Veronica » Sun Mar 17, 2019 5:54 am

That viceral feeling....

I realized what it reminded me of.

A feeling of dread in my gut as a child
A compulsion to keep the peace
A confusion of uncertain origin

Parts of me are Irish
And I love St. Patrick
But I hate St. Patricks day
And weekends
And New Years

Because I get that feeling so deep deep down. A poison in a way. A dread. A fear. Of others, out of control.

Danica my little rose, you know me very well.
Did you see that right now my Progressed Sun and Progressed Uranus have my natal venus as a midpoint too?
Im sure you did.
But you knew that was something I had to find for myself.

Living well like Flo said is a right we all have.

I have a program and I cant make others do anything.
I can only be me and be the best me I know how.

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