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I mentioned this on a thread about my upcoming SLR. I have found someone new. Mary was born 11/11/1961, time unknown, in San Bernardino,CA. She is also disabled and lives across the hall in my skilled nursing facility. Her disabilities are similar to mine but not quite the same. There has been an obvious attraction between us, but she's been keeping me at arms length. I found out why yesterday. While my "parts" work somewhat, hers don't. So whatever we have going forward will be for companionship, not sex. She was understandably reluctant to tell me, so much so that she told some lies, which is very unlike her--she is otherwise extraordinarily honest. I would likely have done worse in her shoes. I feel happy like I haven't in many years, So different from my marriage for the last five years, where sex was alternately withheld or given as charity! Mary freely gives all she has.
It's been just a week since my first post to this thread. Mary and I have grown measurably closer. I have a feeling of emotional intimacy that I've never felt before. Not in twenty years of marriage, not ever. I'll put on my Christian hat and call it a miracle.
Alea iacta est. 5/9/2018 10:30 PM here in Calimesa, CA. After Mary and I had a long forthright discussion of our future, I declared my intention to ask her to marry me after my divorce is final. She expressed her delight at the the prospect of being courted not just chased during that time. And said "I can't answer a question that you can't yet ask, but wait with confidence." Maybe I wasn't reading too much into my April SLR.
Bad news to report. Mary spoke to the pastor about us and he informed her that it is adultery for her to have love feelings for me and vice versa until my divorce is final. Now his opinion doesn't mean squat to me, but it does to her. So we are split up for the duration. She say I'm welcome to pursue her when I'm single if I still want to. We'll see if I do, I think maybe I will. Hurt pretty bad at the time, healing has started. At the very least she proved that loving and being loved is still possible for me.
Good news now. Mary hasn't been able to stop feeling what she's feeling, so we are back together and going in the same direction at a slower pace and more discreetly. After lots of prayer, she decided God was more OK with us than the pastor is. I knew that up front but I respect her conscience and don't begrudge her whatever time she needs to feel right.
Well it's the first of August and Mary and I couldn't be happier. We are known by everyone to be a couple and this is approved of by 90% of the people who give a damn, including the pastor. Hearts are trumps, folks.
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