Thoughts by James Condor

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James Condor
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Re: Thoughts by James Condor

Post by James Condor » Tue Oct 30, 2018 5:17 pm

Jim Eshelman wrote:
Sun Oct 28, 2018 11:40 am
Agreed FWIW. And I appreciate you giving us a view from "inside" the Sagittarian reality.
It is worth it to have you agree. No problem. If I can give more sometime I will.

James Condor
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Re: Thoughts by James Condor

Post by James Condor » Tue Oct 30, 2018 5:26 pm

This might be a Venus thing because it has to do with talking to girls. But could also be anything else in my chart.
I have this thing, and have had it at times, a habit or trait of not being able to talk to woman, or any person, at the gym because I see them all the time and want to work out in peace and focus on the task at hand. But, I also have the urge to flirt the entire time. It's like I am afraid that my gym time will be tainted. Or, next time I see the person of interest, I will not know how to 'touch and go .' If we exchange numbers it would be weird next time we see each other, especially if we hadn't used contacted via phone.

I think I was like this, or still am, at work and pretty much all other places except bars and college. College was different I think because there were so many people and I had more options outside of routine places like classes, dorms, etc. and liquid courage I suppose. My friends say I have 'balls' because I talk to woman so easily at bars after a few drinks. I ask them to dance. I ask them to hang out. For their number if I feel it.

The urge is strong. Whenever I see this girl I have a crush on, I talk myself out of it. I don't put myself out there but have a strong urge to. I make excuses. "I am afraid she is too young", I say. "We might not be compatible. It will be awkward if we do become friends/mates".

I am afraid too of being honest or mean or egotistical and having people talk about me behind my back. Afraid of coming on too strong then feeling like a stalker creep though I wouldn't be stalking but just at the gym I go to.
Last edited by James Condor on Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:47 am, edited 6 times in total.

Avshalom Binyamin
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Re: Thoughts by James Condor

Post by Avshalom Binyamin » Wed Oct 31, 2018 2:14 pm

That could be a Sag striving to be one's best. Or it could be a Saturn quality of inhibition.

I've had similar dynamics, which in my chart I chalk up to a combo of Virgo Sun-Moon bashfulness, and angular Saturn inhibition/inferiority complex.

I still have it as a 38-year-old, and I don't intend to substantially change it, because, like you I think it's kind of gross that women should be subjected to being hit on all the time by men.

But as I've gotten older, I've become more courageous and observant, and less inhibited/"shy", so while I don't go around hitting on people, I am more able to discern when the attraction is reciprocated, and more willing to follow up on that energy (respectfully).

FWIW, I think shy people blossom late and get more attractive with age.

James Condor
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Re: Thoughts by James Condor

Post by James Condor » Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:55 am

Avshalom Binyamin wrote:
Wed Oct 31, 2018 2:14 pm
so while I don't go around hitting on people, I am more able to discern when the attraction is reciprocated, and more willing to follow up on that energy (respectfully).

I get the impression you think I am 'hitting on people" and/ or you are sensitive to something along these lines. Sensitive to respect and sex roles or sexism. Am I right? But, I also like your approach.I think your approach is better than a disrespectful one which is discerned by the parties involved and their own personal views. I mean I have seen people being hit on in an inauthentic cheesy way. In an egotistical pretend macho way. And I feel bad for the suckers.

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Re: Thoughts by James Condor

Post by Avshalom Binyamin » Sat Nov 03, 2018 8:13 pm

No, I got the impression that you don't hit on people.

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Re: Thoughts by James Condor

Post by James Condor » Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:01 am

Alright

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