Veronica

[Veronica]

Did it blow out a speaker? Or did it vibrate the speaker enough to separate the wires?
Because wires can be fixed. By you. It's easy if you take your time and do things like match up the wire colors and let the solder flow itself instead of trying to force it.

You could replace that speaker too. Check walmart for a car speaker that will fit. Under $20 for a pair.

It sounds like rice crispies...snap crackle pop.
I allready have the door taken apart because my door gandles (both) are broken and I tried to fix em....but I needed a special tool to get at the screw....then I knocked the window off the guide to go up n down...so I hadnt bothered. Im pretty good fixing things, it just so cold and yucky out. I messed around with it this morning and got some sound down low.

Ill just play it really low....Ill still sing loudly though.

[SteveS]

Great dancing shots in that Video Veronica, really appreciate, that kind of dancing always releases that inner child in all of us---magical.

[Veronica]

I grew up watching classic musicals. I love to dance. I love all kinds of dance. I learned ballet and danced with my mother. I learned hula dance as a child and last year my coworker was a Turkish immigrant and we belly danced together at work. At the downtown library my 15 coworkers and i and would line dance to "achy breaky heart". Ive tried tap and jazz and even swing. Id love to try salsa and Ive got a bitta hood in me to hip hop, breakdance and get funky with it. I met my ex husband working at a strip club, never danced there except before the club opened and the owner would let me swing around the pole. Im about to watch the NutCracker which is all about the child in us. That clip has most of my favorite movies in it. John Travolta shares my birthday and as a child I thought that was something and disco is extra special fun. I can Irish jig and even waltz a bit. Maybe someday Ill get to slow dance too. Ya never know.

[sotonye]

Hello Veronica, how is your back doing? I read a little while ago that it wasn't feeling alright and so I'm checking up on you

[Veronica]

Hi Sotonye,
Thanks for asking. My injury to my cervical bones in my neck was relieved by the cortisol injections I recieved a few months ago though the procedure was excruciating for me and something I do not want to do again. Hopefully I will not have to go through that again anytime soon. My workers comp case is still open (I didnt except the 30k they offered as a cash settlement bc my dr said I shouldnt incase I need further treatment down the long road of my life). The injection I recieved to my shoulder didnt help and seemed to make the pain worse. It hurts a lot and sleeping is the worst. Thats when it seems to get cold and stiff and just is horrid. My dr says I need surgery but Im having issues with workers comp paying for treatment as the original diagnosis did not include both shoulders. So Im struggling with stupud mundane roadblocks to get medical treatment.
I decided Im just going to fix it myself and have in the past year cut out all alcohol and its been 3 months sinceh I used cannabis ( which my one dr had said could be helpful ...to relax. Ive cut back cigarettes to less then 10 a day and Im doing an hour of yoga in the morning.
Its a slow process. I think a lot of my pain in my shoulder is from emotional issues and from when I was assulted last year bc the woman did pummel me pretty hard.
I think I will get over it soon though. Its been feeling better and if I have to do yoga for the rest of my life thats fine, Im a better person when I take care of me anyways.
Ive been in some severly co dependant relationships and Im just sick in the head and heart about all the secrets and lies I put myself through denying to myself who these men (My husband and Craig) really are and what thier needs and drives are. Eric will keep beating his girlfriends in a drunken self loathing rage against his homophobia and Craig....well...that another story.
Life is pain but suffering is optional. I was built to endure more pain then most, for a reason. Maybe its so that other people will be able to live the life they need and want without fear of being harrassed, persecuted and tortured. I dont know. But a little shoulder pain is nothing compared to the psycholigical pain that those men endure by not being able to ve themselves.
Thanks for asking. I am blessed to be alive and to be able to feel pain and pleasure so Im doing pretty good.

[SteveS]

Veronica wrote:

I love to dance. I love all kinds of dance.

Me too. Any kind of dancing usually begins with some kind of good music, both belonging to the arts and acting as benefics for our souls.

[Veronica]

Funny...
My cousin last night just returned one of my books I lent her...five years ago..._When Woman Were Drummers_.
Which is a beautiful herstory of the origins of music. Of course the first beat we all groove to as humans is the heartbeat. And breathe of our mother and before that I would say it would be the pulse of the Cosmos itself.

Im hoping that now that I no longer have asthma and am working out and quitting smoking that my endurance to dance will just get stronger.

I heard a story of a man who was addicted to heroin who danced his way clean. He makes music himself and his songs are some that really get me pumping and mooving.

The first 10 seconds of this make me think of a drag race starting....https://youtu.be/R0tITMsafgY

[SteveS]

Veronica wrote:

The first 10 seconds of this make me think of a drag race starting..

Veronica! You are too young to remember the boggle woogie dancing, but when I was a teen in junior high school, we used to go to the corner drug store and put a dime in the juke box and play this piano tune over and over and dance the boggle in front of the jukebox, not as good as the dancers in the following video---but still---you understand where I am coming from.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9b3ZZywQvg

[Veronica]

Lol
Steve
I grew up with a Wurlitzer Jukebox in my kitchen that my dad won pkaying poker at a bar. My mom filled it with. Boogie woogie and swing 45s. My parents danced a lot when I was really young. It was kinda like a piggy bank for me. We could earn dimes doing chores and then play a tune.

[SteveS]

Veronica, we gotta love youtube! Its the closest thing we have serving us as a time machine to go back and visit the past during our good days.

[Veronica]

I do love youtube.
Its a good way to lift our spirits on bad days too.
But I find the kind words of caring friends even better on those days.
Thank you.

[sotonye]

I decided Im just going to fix it myself and have in the past year cut out all alcohol and its been 3 months sinceh I used cannabis ( which my one dr had said could be helpful ...to relax. Ive cut back cigarettes to less then 10 a day and Im doing an hour of yoga in the morning.
Its a slow process. I think a lot of my pain in my shoulder is from emotional issues and from when I was assulted last year bc the woman did pummel me pretty hard.
I think I will get over it soon though. Its been feeling better and if I have to do yoga for the rest of my life thats fine, Im a better person when I take care of me anyways.
Ive been in some severly co dependant relationships and Im just sick in the head and heart about all the secrets and lies I put myself through denying to myself who these men (My husband and Craig) really are and what thier needs and drives are. Eric will keep beating his girlfriends in a drunken self loathing rage against his homophobia and Craig....well...that another story.
Life is pain but suffering is optional. I was built to endure more pain then most, for a reason. Maybe its so that other people will be able to live the life they need and want without fear of being harrassed, persecuted and tortured. I dont know. But a little shoulder pain is nothing compared to the psycholigical pain that those men endure by not being able to ve themselves.
Thanks for asking. I am blessed to be alive and to be able to feel pain and pleasure so Im doing pretty good.

I'm impressed with and proud of you for taking matters into your own hands in this way! This is so good dude! I'm sorry to hear that the injection to your shoulder made matters worse and that these men messed with your heart, but I am glad to see how strong you are in spite of everything. An indomitable spirit you've got

[Veronica]

Dude
We all have access to indomitable spirit.
Im just not afraid to tap into it.

Thanks for your incouraging words.
Sorry to hear about your back pain as well.
Your very young
I would suggest that you look into yoga yourself.
It teaches balance harmony and obviously union.
I learned it was best for me to use mundane tools first.
Ie
Pray as if everything relies on god
Yet
Work as if everything relies on you

Having oogie boogies at your back door is not fun fad or fashion. Just my personal expierence talking.

Ill tell ya too...
I firmly believe that I was/am a willing participant in all the "bad" and all the "good" things in my life. Yet when an event is fresh it is sometimes difficult to maintain that awareness amungst the noises of the world, so it feels/seems like the "other" did something "to" me.
That is weakness of the mind. The wandering mind ....distracted by the egoistic duality our physical bodies are living in.

When I am living in truth
I know those guys didnt do anything but try thier best to stay alive and fulfill thier own destiny. Even if they purposely tried to be mean....if I am clear of mind....they cant hurt me. No one can.
The same is true for everyone.

Life is just noise to distract our senses so our soul can focus harder .

[Veronica]

In an effort to try and rise above some subconscious programs I have been running I recalled the conversation in my sons chart about what was going on with me during my pregnancy. I am very interested in this idea because from my understanding during pregnancy the feelings and thoughts of the mother are biologically passed to the fetus/child via hormones such as serotonin, adrenalin and dopamine.
Those chemicals lay a foundation for the developing child that are strong indicators for future development, behaviors, traits and core psychological issues.
I do see in Sidreal astrology a strong correlation between planetary character istics, aspects, anglularity and midpoints and the biochemical make up of a person and I do also see in my own chart and the charts of my siblings and offspring a strong relationship between the environmental influences the carrying mother was in/conditioned under as well as her progressed charts and the transits that were occuring during fetal development.
Since it is believed that we humans are running on subconscious programming 95% of the time and only consciously engaged with the current world 5% of the time, it would seem to me that any attempt to rewrite/ over come negative subconscious programs would have to delve into just what environmental factors, feelings, beliefs and thoughts were being expierenced by the mother during gestation.

I can look at my charts all day and say...this is that and this is so but Im beginning to believe that it doesnt serve me as well as if I can say...ok Veronica, your a nasty b itch sometimes and thats because biologically you are predisposed to have a lot of stress hormones and low serotin which occured during your original cellular growth/dna activation because your mom was flooding your system with those chemicals because that was what was going on in her reality during your formation.
My birth chart seems to be more of a record of what was happening to her during that time. As my childrens charts seem to a record of what I was going through at that time.
The reason that I am entertaining this thought is because for years I did things thinking that if I recycled my paper and bought organic and other mundane things that by sheer ripple effect I could in my own way lift mankind out of what I saw as a downward strife filled suffering that has my brothers and sisters of the world living in a lie, and running and hiding from reality. But thats me, that was the subconscious program that was written in my stars and reflected in my dna via the Butterfly Net my mother was living in.
I read Steve and Jims remarks of the saturn influence I was under during my sons gestation and was struck by how much that is him and I recalled a book I read as a teen in which a couple was trying to bring forth a child of love and light and so the mother to be was to be surrounded by beauty and harmony.
Its hard in this world to create those conditions and to be mindful and conscious all the time of every thought and feeling that arises and to not let our meandering mind dwell in unhealthy patterns of thought.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this or have resources I can look into in this.

Its very challenging to try and pull out subconscious programs, to get all the roots and germs out. I dont know if its entirely possible but as I look at my kids and think of my potential grandkids it would be nice to be able to build a healthy fertile rich earth, and to nurture any seeds planted in a way that allows the will of that soul incarnating to blossom to its potential. I do know in my heart that all souls come from a source of love and they are perfect as is so maybe this is all just vanity.
Its hard to see the 8year olds modeling behaviors at school that they learned from thier parents and just smile and trust that the best thing is to just love them anyways.

[Veronica]

is the 4th harmonic chart a good representation or accurate as a midpoint chart?

Im not finding anything on this site to clue me in how to read into that chart but I did see elsewhere mention that they were similiar.

[Jim Eshelman]

is the 4th harmonic chart a good representation or accurate as a midpoint chart?

Yes. It's actually the same as a 90° dial, and will give you all aspects to midpoints down to 45° series.

The chart will look essentially the same as a 90° dial.

[Veronica]

Thanks!

I thought it might be because that 90 degree list matched perfectly from what I recalled.

[Veronica]

It appears this month I might have a sad lunar return.

From what I see pluto is near the ic square uranus which is opposite venus.
As well as mars/neptune partile conjunct square my sun and jupiter which is close to my moon and mercury all in scorpio.

For several months I have been thinking that my dad is leaving us soon....hes pretty bad off. I offered to have him move in with me....

I also think my little puppy Pippi Longstocking doesnt have much time and the quality of her life is pretty bad. I may have to have her put down...or something...Im not one to let others do what I see is my job/responsibility.

I hope Im wrong about my dad. He is obviously not going to California for the winter so this will be the first holiday season with him in almost 20 years.

Ive never really tried to read my lunar return so I was kinda shook by what it seems to be telling me. Maybe Im reading it wrong.

[Jim Eshelman]

Where are you living now? Still in Rochester? Let me know. It does have a lot going on and the biggest signals are of change of some sort. Picking Rochester, I work it up thus:

t Pluto sq. Asc +0°40'
t Uranus on WP -0°43' [op. non-foreground Venus 3°06']
r Uranus on Asc +6°37'
-- t Pluto sq. r Uranus 1°38' in mundo

t Moon-Jupiter conj. 3°27'
t Sun-Neptune sq. 0°24' (Mars 1°13')
t Mars-Neptune sq. 0°49'
t Jupiter conj. r Jupiter 0°42'

So the main message is one of change - dramatic reorientation, really. Then, within this, there are background messages that are supplemental. The Sun-Mars-Neptune trio is partile yet background, so probably shows background toxic factors in your life. Mingled with this is Jupiter's return to its natal place and its middleground conjunction with your Moon. Combining the basic meaning of the chart with the cyclicity nature of the Jupiter Return, the reorientation in your life is a reframing of your ideas around Jupiter themes such as prosperity, status, job, cultural inclusion, etc., with the opportunity to reframe how you approach these for the next six to twelve years.

[Veronica]

I sent you my exact location. But Rochester is pretty close.
I have been feeling this Jupiter return as well. I love my job working in the library with the kids so much, but the pay is horrid. Id make more money at McDonalds.

I dug out my copy of Let Your Life Speak last week.
Looking for that place where my greatest happiness meets the worlds greatest needs...if I recall that quote correctly.

Im not a money girl though, but here in a world that demands you pay your way.

I want to grow violets and flowers and make the world pretty and smell nice, and take care of children.

There is a lot of things toxic in my background. I have to cut out sufar and caffeine and tobacco. Bad habits I recently picked up but make me feel yucky about myself. I also have uncomfortable feelings with my younger brother who said mean hurtful things and wouldnt help me when I asked. I have to go to his house for Christmas and I dont want to. My car is about to die and needs tires . and just stupid stuff but I take things to heart and have trouble not over feeling things.

This morning though, as I sat on my porch at 3am waking up a beautiful Vixen came walking by and I said hello and good morning and she stopped and sat and looked at me as she scratched her ear. I told her to be careful crossing the street. She walked away and thrn about 3 minutes later her mate came and I said hello and good morning and he stopped too and looked at me for a moment before he trotted off after her.

So that was a blessing and I was happy and grateful and knew I can handle these turning wheels I got spinning in the sky, because, well I am a Unicorn and I can talk to animals and thats special and I know it even if others think Im crazy or too much to handle.

[Jupiter Sets at Dawn]

I have to go to his house for Christmas and I dont want to.

No you don't.

Call his house up a half hour before you're supposed to be there and say you can't make it to whoever answers the phone. Don't say why, just you won't be there. "I can't make it. I know you must be busy. I won't keep you. We'll talk later." Then hang up, and take the phone off the hook. Enjoy your day.

[Veronica]

Ive thought about that.
Your right I dont have to do anything I dont want to.
I never have. No one makes me do anything I dont want to.
Yet my kids seem to want to go.
I will see how my day is.
I do take things one day at a time.

Thanks

[Veronica]

That partile sun neptune mars brought about an event Friday that for me I would say is background toxic.

I have been feeling some car issues coming. I could use some new tires, a balance and I had a issue with my battery a month or so ago which in a way cut my ties with my brother who is a mechanic. Long story short I paid him for a battery, which he stole from his shop...and the shop called me to pay.....dad n I went down and set that straight, but Im not taking my car there again.

So...anyways. Friday night I went to take my girl and her friend shopping and my battery light came on. My tires make my car shimy a bit and I knew it had either shimmied my cables loose or my alternator, whoes belt has been very grumpy, threw the belt. I knew if I shut off the car I wouldnt get it started, and I have allready used all my AAA up. So via cell my girl arranged a ride from the mall, for her and her friend and I dropped them off and was driving home. My lights were just about dead.
Got home and sure enough car wouldnt start. It was dark and I didnt have a flash light so I used my phone light while I tried to take out my battery so I could bring it in the house to charge it. I usex to have a 200 foot extension cord but my brother had taken it. So....well the bolts were locked tight and my shoulder hurt and my phone died.
Yup.
So I took a nice hot bath and figured I would try again in tbe morning. I had to pick up my girl downtown by 11am. So I figured if worse came to worse shed have to take an uber or something.
In the morning I thought long and hard about what should I do. Should I call triple a and by a battery from them and tbey would take out my stuck one for me? Should I call my dad and have him have it towed to tbe dealer so they can just fix the door handles, windows, battery, tires and possibly the alternator? Which would run hundreds of dollars....my head was swimming. Then I though about what Craig would do. Hed wait till it was light and try again to do tbe cheapest easiest thing which would be get the battery out and charge it and see if that got it running. If a fully charged battery didnt start it then Id know it was the alternator. I called my sister and told her I needed to borrow dads car to pick up my girl and she needed to come get me. Dad wont be using his car. Probably ever and he td me before i could use it.
I am still very angry with her for gossiping about me and Friday my daughter read me texts my sisters daughter had sent her that were cruel uncalled for nasty lies and selfish childish bulling words (shes 21 my daughter is 16) so I was pretty angry about that too but I called her anyways and just told her she had to puck me up. (She owes my close to 1k in loans I will never collect).

So I had the ride lined up for my kid so she wasnt stuck in the hood alone.

I said a prayer and got my good ratchet and socket and went out and busted my knuckles getting that darn battery out. But I did it.

Put it on the charger overnight.

And this morning in a cold drizzly rain I put it back in and the dam car wouldnt start. I was not happy. But I didnt cry. I thought again what would Craig do. He wouldnt cry. Hed try again. So I got out and cleaned up tge termi als more and tightened thrm down as best I could. And this time...it started. And I crowed "mommy is a f%#&@ rock star" cause I am.

That aspect was background for me because while it was a yucky event and gave me bit of blood n grease it was nothing really major that I couldnt handle when I stay calm and patient and think and not let my emotions get the better of me.

For many other people that would have been a forground event. But I have a well stocked tool box and great help.

My dad always asks me... " why dont you ask so n so for help? Youve helped them Im sure they would help you..."

And I smile and think of my angular Pluto and reply....
"Ill see if I cant do it myself. Id rather save those karma point (his term for good deeds) for something I cant do on my own, like a back rub or stratching an itch I cant reach."

[SteveS]

Good work V.

[Avshalom Binyamin]

Yeah!

That's alchemy!